What?
-For those of you not running, organizing, volunteering for or spectating the 26.2 event, Hand Pump has made alternative arrangements for you:  the Hand Pump Work Crew*.

You’ll spend a couple hours helping invasive plant species jump** out of the ground.  For this, you’ll receive the gratitude*** of Parke & the Rec and Park people in partnership with Elbert, the contentment**** from giving back, the undying love***** of Hand Pump and whatever top shelf beer he arranges for you.  If you’re showing up, respond to this or whisper it breathily against Mr Pump’s neck from behind at Thursday night’s gypsies trail.

Why?
-Bear in mind this is how Hand Pump escapes lo those many citations for serving you beer in public locations.  He waves the list of volunteer work hours he’s organized before the judge and saunters saucily from the Hall of Justice.  Your name should appear on that list, donchathink?

*it’s more like a Chain Gang
**it’s that easy
***for reals, he’ll feed you
****your mileage may vary
*****it’s documented (by a patch)