Mouth Down South stared at Titty Boo Boo in amazement. “Can I… can I touch it!?”
“No!” John Handcock grabbed his hand and pulled him away. “Don’t look at it too long! It’ll pull you in!”
“I don’t even see how it’s possible. To be that… clean. And smooth. Down there.” Cockamole gazed in wonder, eyes fixed on Titty Boo Boo’s short shorts. Cream Chugger was taking notes rapidly, while Cuming Mutha was shielding his mustache in horror.
“I’ll tell you how it’s possible!” Cunty Butler pulled out a blue bottle and held it up proudly. “Want to boldly revealed what has not been revealed before? Want to exhibit all of two of your inches in full display? Like my trail metamorphosing from a hairy caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly, Nair® will change your bushy tush into a svelte savanna of pleasure.”
“Great for head injuries!” Shaft popped up into the background, only to be pushed back down by Gobble My Ass and Stinky Floss.
“Not even my camera will pick up what Nair® has taken off!” Dick Simmons flashed a grin. Udder Moron began wiping his computer hard drive.
“My pussies love Nair®!” Deadbeat pointed at the kitten nearest his crotch.
“I like how it tingles,” Hot Dick announced to Do Her Well, who nodded sagely.
“Next time I want to look like Just Doesn’t Get It, I’ll use Nair®,” Buck Fucka announced, while Pole Her Bare’s eyes widened.
“It’s great for gingers!” Gingervitis proclaimed. Eat My Pussy started to object, but he was silenced suddenly by Double Man Cum leaping over Weiner I Am to grab the sample bottle from Cunty’s grasp.
“Oh, gross, it’s all over my chest!” Wrinklepecker cried out. The bottle had sprayed most of the crowd, as well as some of the dogs. Ticky Dicky yelped as his fur started to melt away.
“How will we be lumberjacks together now?” Douchicorn wailed at Resting Slut Face.
“It’s okay.” Big Cock Chains patted them. “You are lumberjacks, and you’re okay.”
“They sleep all night and they work all day,” Kerry’s Cumcakes and Liverdance joined in.
“They Nair® their chests, they shave their pits,
They go on a waxing spree.
On Mondays they go hashing,
And drink all the beer they see!” Chorused Blowqueen and Backside Banger.
“Sounds like jingle!” shouted Cream Throat Willy, who happily joined the chorus line with Miss Delivery.
“How long is this offer available for?” Millimeter Peter asked discretely as the crowd started to dance.
“You know the drill!” shouted Cunty. “Take it away One Night Only!”
“They are lumberjacks and they’re okay,
But Nair® is only available today!
So Dickweed, Brown Eye
And Wee Wee,
Get some supplies for free!”
“Let me tell you, if I’d had this technology back in the 70s, I’d be a changed man,” King Rong Jon proclaimed.
“Um, is there a reversal process?” complained Ru Ru Rimmin. “I’m asking… for a friend. Tuna on Top! My friend Tuna!”
“Uh, sure buddy,” she patted him on the arm and grabbed a handful of Cheetos.
“Oh, didn’t you hear?” Muff Daddy thumbed at his phone. “You’re in luck. Douchicorn got next week’s trail sponsored by Hair Club for Men.”
Do Her Well is not paid or sponsored or supported by Nair®, but if they happened to give her money, she wouldn’t say no.