Never had such a fine crowd of lads and lasses been gathered in the city of Saint Francis. The group was filled with faces new and old, and all milled around to greet those who had rejoined their number. Glow Fish was welcomed back from a long time away, while My Little Adult Entertainment had many stories to share of her travels in the Far East. Quadruped bemoaned the fact that work had long removed her from enjoying such gatherings, but she soon found herself catching up for lost time.
Going up to Zip A Size, Sir Menagerie triumphantly presented a token of his voyage of pleasure in Greece—an ornate hand-carved bottle opener with smooth grip and great girth. It was instantly decided that one of the hashers must carry this token amongst them. Madam Delivery, Mister Baster, and Pinky Floss all were gathered in front of the group and voted upon by applause for the one whose feats had been most noteworthy.
To Madam Delivery, who got the most applause for his stunning apparel, the token was finally awarded, and then the crowd was off to pursue Feast Upon My Bounty’s trail. Winner I Am and John Hancock quickly teamed up, hoping to cut the hare off at the pass. However, it was soon clear that Feast Upon My Bounty would outwit even them.
“Give us respite, o hare!” cried Hoary Fist, despairing at the site of ever more hills, as he and The Littlest Piggy travelled faster and faster through the brush of the Presidio. Prim Virginia ignored his plaints and pushed past him, with Resting Trollop Face and Just Jackie close behind.
“You are in error, kind friend,” called Do Her Kindly to Gizzard, who was running opposite them. “Worry not!” he replied. “I am not of your number today. Go and sup your beer without me!” And they continued.
Up the trail they climbed, past cheering children playing a game of handball. Deer Mate found himself sinking slowly in the sand, but Just Alex was kind enough to lend a hand. Triumphantly, they emerged above the National Cemetery to enjoy the glorious view.
Never before had the crowd seen such a beautiful sight, with everything aglow in the light of the setting sun. Richard Simmons took several wonderful photographs of those able to stand still long enough for the camera to capture their profiles, while Utter Maroon and GlowQueen ran on unswayed.
Going back towards the start, the pack encountered a woman and a not so friendly canine companion. Just Lindsey reached down to greet the mongrel, but she had to swiftly back away as it lunged at her, snaring her coat.
To a man, the group swiftly came to her rescue, but she waved them off, making peace with both hound and lady. Zip A Size watched them trot off into the distance, laying down marks a plenty for all behind him to follow, but he required so much time for this endeavor that he found all had reached the beer already when he arrived.
“Let me tell you about our group,” Do Her Kindly curtsied at the visitors she had encountered at the top of the Lombard Steps. Most ignored her, except for one elderly gentleman who called her a ‘fine specimen.’ Fortunately Just Doesn’t Get It was looking the other way. Limited Edition and Try Athlete toasted one another and greeted the stragglers as the last of the crowd came in.
“You had a wonderful birthday weekend, didn’t you?” Sleepy Like Sunday Haring asked Refreshing Showers. The two gossiped about her whirlwind trip to Mexico. “That’s all the celebration I need,” Refreshing Showers stated firmly.
Down back to Alta Plaza, the group assembled to talk of their deeds and misdeeds. The newcomers were welcomed warmly, and Just Lindsay assured them all that she was not deterred from their number by her canine incident. Sir Menagerie had brought his husband to the gathering for the first time, an act that was widely applauded.
“Never have I had such a fantastic time,” Mister Baster said of the festivities that had occurred at his place on Friday. “I do have some belongings left behind,” he said, presenting washed and folded towels to the group. No Malarkey was dismayed to find he had left a pair of swim trunks, but the group was quite happy to see him don them once more and enjoy their tight fit.
“Going to the Far East was wonderful,” My Little Adult Entertainment told them. “But I found I needed to teach those Thai ladies a thing or two.”
To her dismay, the crowd immediately demanded to also learn these techniques, and it was only the assurance that she would teach any and all seekers in good time, but in private, that satiated them.
“Run next week?” asked the Religious Advisors.
“Around my castle,” ABBA proclaimed, waving his hand in the general direction. Concerned, they pressed him further, and he reassured them that he would provide more specific instruction before the next outing.
And the final business left was to determine what would become of Madam Delivery’s bottle opener. Despite other impressive acts which had occurred, it was determined that Madam Delivery needed a bit more time with the instrument to learn how best to use it.
Dessert that evening was not as good as the meal that No Malarkey and Sextets A Week had cooked for the shindig at Mister Baster’s abode, but nevertheless the food and drink was enjoyed by all.
You would be hard pressed to find a friendlier or more enjoyable crowd than the group that had gathered at Alta Plaza that evening. However, all good things must come to a close, so until next time—Cheers!
Cast of Characters:
Blow Fish (Glow Fish)
BlowQueen (Glow Queen)
Buck Fucka (Deer Mate)
Dick Simmons (Richard Simmons)
Drunkin Honuts (Dunking Donuts)
John Handcock (John Hancock)
Just Doesn’t Get It
Masterbaster (Mister Baster)
Miss Delivery (Madam Delivery)
My Little Porno (My Little Adult Entertainment)
No Shit (No Malarkey)
On All Fours (Quadruped)
One Night Only (Limited Edition)
Primal Vagina (Prim Virginia)
Resting Slut Face (Resting Trumpet Face)
Roman Showers (Refreshing Showers)
Sir Menage A Lot (Sir Menagerie)
Six Tits (Sextets a week)
Sleazy Like Sunday Whoring (Sleepy Like Sunday Haring)
Stinky Floss (Pinky Floss)
Tricrapylete (Try Athlete)
Udder Moron (Utter Maroon)
Wee Wee Wee All The Way Home (The Littlest Piggy)
Weiner I Am (Winner I Am)
Whorifist (Hoary Fist)
Zippercised (Zip A Size)
Hare: Gobble My Ass (Feast Upon My Bounty)