Run #1496 The Beer Must Get Through!

Blow Queen gathered the Gypsies at Lenox Way and Verdun Way between the West Portal Elementary School and the West Portal Rec. Center. Lenox is a steepish hill and when Fits In tried to park the Outbeer the car dropped dead. The pack surrounded the poor dead thing and formed a diagnostic committee that was the equivalent to a blindfolded bunch touching different parts if a camel and trying to guess what it is. It’s leaking oil, no, wait, it’s the electrical system. Who’s Your Daddy provided a pint of oil just in case. Dr. Kimble announced that he couldn’t be sure of a diagnosis without more tests. Tongueless, cynic that he is knew the REAL problem was the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder hadn’t been tapped and the natives were restless. It’s not that the pack didn’t want to be helpful and concerned it’s just that once the keg was tapped, they lost interest, having better things to do like pounding the piss. The religious observance was double teamed by Pee Wee from a Minnesota hash and Courtesy Flesh from Surf CityH3, then Blow Queen said a few words over the Outbeer and the pack was off! Trail took the pack along Verdun Way out to Claremont Blvd. BQ was kind enough to stay with the Lost Patrol providing them with the benefit of his knowledge, the sum total was basically, “You can go this way or that way or you could take this shortcut or just go wherever the fuck you want!” It was that last bit that appealed most to T and FI and the likes of AABBAA and Adopt A Pussy. Pied Piper more or less cast his lot with Wash This Asshole and they covered trail while outlining their next podcast of Cooking for Those Who Don’t Really Care but Need Something to Talk About! At the roundabout trail went up Montalvo Ave. and at that point our hare bid the LP adieu and went off to be with the fast and the fit or as Banana In Public watching One Night Only race by averred, the fit and the foolish. Our hare had a few tricks up his sleeve and the pack found itself climbing Edgehill Mountain, not exactly Mt. Everest but when you’re Manhole it might as well have been. This is not to say that Manhole isn’t fit, um, well, actually it is, but he had to be rescued by Hand Pump! Jack The Ripper, on the other hand soared like bird over the trail. The LP were of course the first ones back having chugged down Vasquez Ave and back through Verdun Way. While they were waiting for the rest of the pack to return 5150 appeared magically from his Jeep in the hopes of getting a head start on the alcohol consumption. Chickenboner also arrived but built of sterner stuff headed out on trail. The pack gradually reappeared and the more manly Who’s Your Daddy hauled the keg into the park area and let it stand on a tree stump. Ah that stump, before the tree was cut down it was the Gypsies’ pissing point of choice! Pied Piper produced the Sacred Grill and positioned it on the pathway before loading it=\with enough sausages to feed a small town or a pack of hashers. The wall along the fence held all the condiments a small store might sell along with the buns. The tree stump held the keg and the Sacred Thermi filled with hot rum and cider as well as the Vitamin J. Cheese Turd appeared late as usual but early enough to consume his share and more of the alcohol and comestibles. He held Cockulus Oculus and Ultra Head spellbound with his disquisition on why Just Mark hasn’t been in a conjugal relationship in the 21^st Century. One Night Only disappeared before the food arrived but Chickenboner eventually returned and ate her share as well as her share! Eventually T pulled the Sword Of Power from the trunk of the silent Outbeer and convened a tree stump Circle dispensing justice or at least his version of justice to the pack but he was in such a hurry to try to get the Outbeer moving that he barely embarrassed himself much to the chagrin of he pack. The keg died and so did the Sacred Thermi.  Lastly the pack knelt and 5150 led them in prayer for the Outbeer. FI and T sat inside and FI turned the key, the car turned over and Dr. K said he’d stay on his cell phone as they drove north in case a rescue was needed. Happily, none was required. An exciting night ended well! Cheers.