Run #1499 EGNAB yeah yeah yeah

Who’s Your Daddy chose to take the Gypsies on a tour of the “Lakes District” in Golden Gate Park, so he gathered the pack at 25^th Ave. and Martin Luther King, Jr. Dr. near where the lakes abound. But wait, you say you don’t understand the title, your scribe guarantees that you will so as Shakespeare said, “ Lay on…”. As the pack gathered the Outbeer slid into place and the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder was tapped. Both licking their chops at the thought of the cold brew the Just Elke and Just Atta, the Kebab Bros had to decide who was drinking and who was driving. Legal eagle Adopt A Pussy recommended that they just settle by both drinking and taking turns driving. Perhaps AAP should have had a pint or two less before weighing in. The beer was flowing nicely, and the pack was growing as more of the detritus of hashing washed up. In setting trail WYD must have kicked over a large rock since Gobble My Ass, a Whine & Chowder devotee, made a once in a decade appearance. Squeeze Box up from SiliconeValleyH3 was dripping so much acid that a hole appeared around her feet. Apparently, SB can tell time but not Gypsies time since she was there before the alleged start time of 6:15. Pied Piper made the mistake of trying to explain the time difference, he won’t try that again! Even the keg couldn’t neutralize her acid. The pack was sorely in need of the calming influence of a biblical tale and Bitches Bitch came forth to read a sermon from the old Family Bible Missal in the hopes of uniting the pack through the espousal of family values the Gypsies hold so dear. Choke Me, Daddy and Who’s Your Daddy wept as the love of an uncle for his niece was proclaimed. Even Jerk Your Daddy barked in agreement as he nestled Exaggerated Crack’s leg. The Gypsies are of course a “family values” hash. Chickenboner, standing in for the hare, provided a chalktalk that proved to be as valuable as usual, and the pack was off! The Lost Patrol including Tongueless, Fits In, Pied Piper and Wash This Asshole clung to CB’s legs and followed her unerringly vulgar mind meld with our hare. Amazingly, Blow Queen opted to chug along with the LP so he could favor his metatarsal fracture. As trail went around Elk Glen Lake BQ allowed as that he was seeing things he’d never seen when he was *unning. FI pointed out that for a large portion of the year when he’s in town the trails are in the dark, DUH! As she dashed along trail Lois Lame was desperately trying to get lost so Bitches Bitch could be a manly man and rescue her but that damn WYD had marked the trail too well. Up Transverse Dr. and around Lloyd Lake with its Portals of the Past columns trail was more than obvious. As the pack rounded Spreckels Lake and crossed JFK Dr., Just Fuck Off was annoyed by the buzzing that she heard but Just Ted Aka The Other Bastard told her it wasn’t mosquitoes just Squeeze Box complaining, “This is a shit trail, I got caught by the backchecks but YOU people are all ahead of me.” One Night Only mumbled that if SB had cried harder, she could have ended California’s drought. Twinkle Dick imagined that trail led to the Polo Field North Bathroom so, magically, it did…for him. The Casting Pond isn’t quite a lake but since water was involved WYD took the pack through it. By the time trail passed Metson Lake Tri Crapalete was having daydreams about drowning but not himself. The pack passed Mallard Lake and Manhole sprinted uphill to follow trail back to the start. ABBAA preferred a more gentlemanly pace to bring him back to the start and the picnic area with its table covered with Vitamin J and the Sacred Bucket filled with River Madness, the keg was tapped, and memories started to get hazy. Closet Twitcher started a fire with bits and bobs of wood in the one of the barbies. SB continued her litany of anguish as she was only able to find one bag of the chips she liked and refused to taste the River Madness since, “I don’t drink out of mop buckets”. 5150 led the pack’s huzzahs as they realized it just meant more for them. Dr. Kimble listened and decided that SB was likely incurable, so he just had another round. SB’s only moments of pleasure were apparently talking to 5 Angry Inches who is decency personified. As T was retrieving the Sword Of Power he was saddened to see SB leaving but he’s never let anyone not being there deny him the joy of insulting them endlessly. In truth the pack didn’t seem to mind. When T wasn’t insulting SB he was bringing up Atta and Elke and BQ and ABBAA. The Swedes were there to disprove the jokes about blondes but somehow failed. ABBAA was generous with his hair and covered BQ’s lack of same as they leaned into a more or less kiss. The taffy pullers were up there for no apparent reason other than T likes them…they should be very afraid! The growlers came out and the keg succumbed to them, the Sacred Bucket emptied into various throats and Hand Pump got rid of the garbage, at least the kind in a bag. A pleasant evening was had by, um, some.  Now about the title EGNAB, long ago when he was involved in Everest expeditions Eric Shipton wrote, “Every group needs a bozo. Someone that the rest of the group can coalesce around disliking so they could avoid disliking each other. All bozos are self-selecting”. You may be able to guess who the EGNAB was. Cheers.