Run #1517 … And Beer for My Horses!

Dr. Kimble decided to give the Gypsies a trail straight out of the Old West, assuming Mill Valley makes it as the Old West! Sadly, John Wayne couldn’t make it but the combination of Buttplug Fred and Manhole had it covered. Talk about hardmen, when Code For Butt dropped him off at the trail start at the Escalon Trailhead off of Overhill she asked him how he’d get home to the east bay and he just shrugged and said, “No worries, pilgrim, I’ll figure it out!” If BF’s balls were any more leathery, he’d be playing rugby! While many thought it was amazing that 5150 was there before the run start the explanation was obvious, he actually used his GPS to find the start instead of “knowing where I’m going” and wandering in the hills for 40 years and he really wanted that Lagunitas IPA badly! The keg was tapped and 5150 got his wish. 3X A Virgin was back, apparently hoping to extend her virginity but from the smirk on Just Josh’s face no one was expecting her to make it 4X. The pack arrived in dribs and drabs, what a not surprise, and parked along the road. The road parking was shared with a number to civilians who were going to walk their dogs on the trail. For a change there was no fear in their eyes as they walked their pooches down the gauntlet of piss pounders! 5 Angry Inches stepped to the dais and with the Male Missal firmly in hand preached a sermon complete with acting out the sermon. Tonya Hardon was so wild with excitement that she dropped her beer, but One Night Only’s hand shot out so fast that nary a drop was spilled. Dr. K provided a chalktalk that told the pack that the various and sundry trails were about, maybe, perhaps, well, really he wasn’t fucking sure, long. He did say that they were well marked, kind of and nobody would be getting lost unless they really tried. Oddly enough when he said that he was staring straight at Tongueless. On that note the pack was off in search of the promised flour. The pack instantly broke in shards and the Lost Patrol shard consisted of 5150, T and Fits In. It’s fairly doubtful that any of the other shards came into contact until the pack reassembled at the start. Dr. K knows how to use anything that’s handy to hold flour, so he made good use of the construction equipment parked along the Del Casa Fire Road. Trail crossed and followed the Escalon Fire Road. Dr. K had billed this as the last trail in daylight and he would have been right had he started the trail at 5, but starting it at 7, a usual time, found darkness descending on the Gypsies. Worried, why of course not, really who needs a light while they stagger around in the dark? Just ask Manhole who allowed that without the torch Dr. K lent him he’d have been dead. Eventually trail led to the Octopus Fire Road and a choice between the Lower Summit Fire Road, the Middle Summit Fire Road and the Octopus Access Fire Road. The LP opted for the Octopus Access Fire Road and as it steeply descended the Voice of Wisdom could the heard sounding strangely like Fits In, “You do realize that the lower we go the more we have to come back up!” They did continue down until the wisdom of FI set in! One Night Only made it down to Camino Alto and then back up the Camino Alto Firs Road. Princess Slut managed to make it over Horse Hill and came back slavering over the stallion appendages she saw. Eventually all were back at the start with Just Mark being the DFL Of course he’d started 15 minutes after everyone else and no one saw him on any of the trail so he could just have been hibernating. Under doctor’s orders JM can just sniff the alcohol but not drink it. His nose never stopped twitching. The keg was tapped and concealed under the Cloak Of Invisibility. ONO hung out for a time but as the icicles started to form, she hopped into the Mercedes and left. Princess Slut rooted through the Vitamin J and found nothing there for her discerning taste. When Wash This Asshole said hadn’t cooked up a mess of savory oats, she stamped her foot and left. The rest of the pack hung around stuffing themselves with Vitamin J. 3X was thrilled to find the Sacred Thermi filled with coffee and bottles of Irish Crème, Kahlua and brandy to spike it.  3X was so overwhelmed with gemütlichkeit that she offered a ride to 5 AI, TH and BF. They were thrilled with the offer even though it was just to get them back to SF and some form of public transportation. Her face dropped as they all decided that 5150 in his cups was offering a ride all the way to the east bay was a better offer. There was nothing for 3X to do but pour another cup of good cheer and cry on Just Josh’s shoulder!