Run #433 If It’s Good Enough For Rongjon It’s Good Enough For
Me!
Having
wasted innumerable hours of drinking time on march or die trails King
Rongjon gave the pack a taste of the old time religion of the
Gypsies with trail that was lean, not very mean, and left
plenty of time for serious liver damage. Eschewing cleverness in
favor of alcohol consumption the King set his mind to working
and somewhere between his seventeenth and eighteenth pint came up
with a trail that even T/BC could love. By Kingly fiat
he gathered the pack at the Equestrian Field parking lot in Golden
Gate Park. Cringing in awe of his majesty and desiring to win the
King’s favor Sucks Donnie Osmond sacrificed
not one but two virgins to the pack’s insatiable appetite. Sisters
Katie and Sarah were offered up as potential
priestesses. Before a word was spoken by either of these tender
morsels the likes of Snakeless and Fucking Pesto Chicken
were licking their chops and drooling as only eternal dreamers can.
Pesto calmed down when ClapTrap pointed out to that his
condoms were older than the wenches were and Snakeless wept
when he realized there was no Viagra in his car. Succulent Sarah was
chosen to read from the Sacred Missal, in between
giggles she provided the pack with the parable of the sodden furrow.
Truly in a state of grace the pack was on-on. The pack was soon out
of the park and headed south. While the rest of the pack ran towards
the horizon Bitch In Heat fell to the ground and
convulsing horribly began to speak in the King’s own voice.
It could have been the alignment of the planets or perhaps solar
storms somehow he had achieved a mind meld with King Rongjon.
Twitching and foaming Bitch In Heat began shouting directions,
Fits In whipped out a pen and writing on her
thighs took them down in shorthand. Once our medium had collapsed in
a faint it was short work to decipher the code and using the
knowledge become FRBs. The mini pack of Fits In, T/BC,
and Barbie Boxx quickly lashed the limp body of Bitch
In Heat to Whippet In and Whippet Out
and with the body pounding down the pavement were off to the beer
check. The beer check was at the King’s own palace where he
provided Buttwiper for those thirsty enough to drink the bathtub ring
of beers. Pied Piper, once again using Zack and his dog
as an excuse to leave the cell, was sitting on the steps while Zack
served him beer. Some people have a child for posterity Piper had one
to solve the servant problem. Roadkill angered that Barbie
had beaten him to the beer check chose not to punish her since she
was kneeling and holding a cold one out to her liege. Once the King’s
beer had been drunk the pack was on back to the start. The pack once
again together the Sacred Bucket was produced and
filled with Skippy Goes Nakeds and the weekly drunkfest was declared
begun. Chickless Boner was soon in his bathrobe and
sending women into paroxysms of laughter by trying to pick them up.
Dick Chick suggested that he just stick with
necrophilia to preserve his ego. Nutless Sac ever the
people person took pity on him and pouring Chickless a stiff
one gave him a few tips on dealing with women who are still
breathing. Just Bob was there again and once more had *un a
trail that exists only in his own mind. Rumor has it that the
Smithsonian has put in a bid on his brain when he no longer needs it.
Rumor also has it that D’anglin Anglin has offered them a
“two-fer”. Dickless Namehole was in the dumps having
found out that his hip problem means never achieving his dream of
becoming an instructor at the Fred Astaire Dance Studio. Mamasan
Bigfoot allowed him to weep on her breast, which seemed to
take some of the sting out of his danceless future. The stadium
seating was erected and the gallery was soon screaming for Enter
The Gerbil to begin the circus. Donning his Fool’s Cap Gerbil
called the circle to order and sluiced away sins with down-downs of
Skippy and Boones Farm Strawberry Daquiri (an alcoholic beverage).
Many a sinner was saved by the proper application of a Boones Farm
penance. Just John who planned to leave early feigning sleep
was so revived that the crowd acclaimed him Dick Van Wrinkle
and the King brought him into the Order of the Sleepless
Knights. Sword Of Power in hand King Rongjon barely
nicked him and Just Carolyn’s practiced eye guaranteed that
what was left of his ear would heal in a month at the most. Open
Wide still seating for Mr. Tooth Decay was busily prying open
the mouths of the fallen. Twinkle Dick fainted when he came
out of his Skippy stupor to find OW sliding a mirror into his
mouth. I R Stupid volunteered to assist her but when he
opened his mouth the noxious fumes killed a canary six blocks away
and left Scarlett O’Hairy in a swoon. Captain
Titanic visiting from the Mt. VernonH3 immediately ripped her
shirt off and began what he called heart massage. Wankers
Island drew the line when Captain T suggested that
Scarlett’s shorts be removed to allow her to breathe.
Throbbing Vessel, the Gypsies’ answer to Jimmy
Swiggart, crying out in concern for her immortal soul offered to
carry the, by now, scantily clad Scarlett into the bushes and
prey over her. Staggering under the weight he stumbled into the
thicket that LCB and Liquor Up had chosen for
some healing of their own. Manhole used the commotion to
cherry pick the cooler and snag as many of the Red Tails as he could.
Likes To Lick caught him in the act but Manhole was
able to buy his silence with two Tails. We always knew LTL was
easy but now we find out he’s cheap as well. The insanity continued
at Ladda Thai. Pray for the Gypsies they need it. Cheers.