Run #452 Crazy Bob Kicks the Bucket
First
Bitch In Heat breaks his leg now Just Bob kicks the Bucket
what’s next? People have come to expect the unexpected from an I
R Stupid trail and last week provided an example of why. Our hare
chose 12th Ave. and Cragmont at Golden Gate Heights Park
an area only slightly harder to find than Atlantis. Rumor has it that
the next Indiana Jones movie will be based on the search for the
start by Nutless Sac and Tongueless. As the pack
gathered the air was stiff with testosterone as the civilizing
influence of estrogen was sorely lacking. Just about the time Shaggy
Dog was starting to talk about turning Chickless Boner
into his bitch Drill Me and Badger arrived
precluding an ugly scene, although D’anglin Anglin
seemed really disappointed. Lois Lame arrived and
instantly announced that her crotch would remain silent this week
much to the chagrin of Shithead who’d hoped to engage it in
a deep and meaningful conversation. After a litany of mistakes
regarding the piss Nutless Sac redeemed himself by
procuring Just Jennifer. Actually pimping might be a better
word since I could have retired on his ill gotten gains the way the
likes of LCB and McTaco responded to this little
hottie. Snakeless alone bought fifty tickets for Nutless’
raffle. Not to be outdone Tits 4 Hire tossed Just Dave
into the pot for the delight of the Gypsies’ bimbos but
ended up taking him home herself. Apparently Just Dave wasn’t
interested in going home with Broken Trojan. But back
to Just Jennifer who understanding the Gypsies’ deep
felt need for religion gave a stirring reading from the Sacred
Missal. Just Vadia a Chickless Boner
clone was so overcum that he had to be carried to Chickless’
car where he spent the rest of the evening in a catatonic state. On
that note the pack was off. I R S announced to the non *unners
that this was the shortest trail he’d ever set but that overcum
with guilt he’d made it among the hilliest. Sister Mary, of
the Silicone ValleyH3 convent, arrived late and trundled off after
the pack having been provided suitably obscure instructions by the
now drunken hare. Latex Dreams and Just Charlene also
arrived late and turned a blind eye to the offers of alcohol,
chocolate, and nylons blandished by the drunken and horny non*unners
preferring a late start on the trail to a romp in Nutless’
truck. True to his word I R S’s trail went wherever up went.
The pack found itself climbing steps to reach the top of the Sunset
only to find the trail went straight down the other side. Those with
even a modicum of common sense could have avoided the experience by
just going around the hill. Needless to say the entire pack climbed
and descended. Johnny Moronic back from New York for a
visit found himself slogging along with Thumper and Dr.
Kimble. Their discussion of the joys of married life soon segued
into a discussion of spousal insurance policies and alibis, ah true
love. All things being finite even I R’s hills ended and the
pack settled in for long siege of the Sacred Bucket
filled with rum, cider, and brandy a combination guaranteed to take
the chill out of the body and put the fog into the brain. Scarlett
O’Hairy who’d arrived in a loudly throbbing diesel truck was
soon being chatted up by Just Hans who offered her a chance to
get something else throbbing between her legs but Scarlett was
in no shape for a ride on his bike. Barely able to stand she did
coyly inquire into any ability he might have to throb while lying
down. Just Jennifer was still attracting flies. Naked
Hasher allowed as how there might be snow on the roof but a
fire still burned in the fireplace. Glancing down at his shorts
Jennifer replied that he could get a better fire going with a
log than twigs. It wasn’t proving a good evening for Whine &
Chowder Society escapees, Pump Fake was desperately chatting
up Semen Monster when she suddenly reached down grabbed and
declared his pump a fake. Muff Snatcher arrived with high
hopes of living up to his name but failed to even get a flash let
alone a snatch of snatch. Glory Hole avoided the whole issue
by spending the evening chatting up his hand. Sadly his hand was more
interested in Just Rich who failed to return the
interest. No Hands had his hands full keeping Sammy
from eating Solo. Snakeless would have had a problem
explaining to Captain Dickhead how his dog ended up in
Sammy’s tummy. On the other hand since Captain
Dickhead can barely remember his own name he may not have
remembered he even had a dog. Enter The Gerbil declared
the circle joined and began dolling out down-downs. Open Wide
received one for not being able to distinguish between a head band
and a jog bra. Next time she’ll just let Likes To Lick strap
her down with duct tape like he offered. The Just Jason Stupid
Watch continues. It could be that Just Jason is just
vanilla. Bigfoot finally got her 100th Shirt the
picture giving a whole new meaning to cheesy. Those few stupid enough
to waste there time doing 200 or more Gypsy trails finally
received some recognition in the form of a folding chair when what
they really needed was a life. The evening ended with a bizarre and
painful turn of events. King Rongjon stepped to the podium and
began reciting a prose poem written to glorify the location. The
sound of his voice sent Rhett Butthole into a seizure, as
Rhett fell to the ground Bag Lady leapt to the fore and
prying his mouth opened reached behind her and grabbed the first
thing she found wedging it into Rhett’s mouth. A spasming
Rhett bit down, the scream coming from Just Bob was
horrendous. Bounding into the air he kicked over the Sacred Bucket
spilling what was left of the contents. Suddenly Rhett was
forgotten as desperate hashers dropped to their knees and began
lapping at the last of the liquid. Mad with pain Just Bob
seized the cooler and poured the ice water over his head and other
lower parts. With no alcohol left the pack dispersed to the Bullshead
for meat and drink. Learn to love the pain. Cheers.