Run #458 For Want of a Check….
Like
a character out of Dostoevsky LCB was once again suffering the
long dark night of the soul or at least the long dark night of Golden
Gate Park. Having called the pack to order at the Boathouse at Stow
Lake he now found himself praying for their safe return. It all
started with a spirited religious experience provided by newboot
Just Daniel. Clearly he relished the reading of the Sacred
Missal, relished it perhaps a tad too much. Thumper was
forced to pry it from his clenched and sweaty fist so the *un could
start. The pack found itself facing a check at Strawberry Hill and
while the majority of headless chickens thundered up the stairs
leading to nowhere the true cognoscenti set off around the hill safe
in the knowledge that what goes up must cum down. Sadly even the true
cognoscenti didn’t solve the check. In yet another stunning example
of terminal laziness the pack failed to check in the one direction
the trail actually went. Trail was eventually found but it was the
on-in rather than the on-out. Like lost sheep in need of a Border
Collie the pack fell apart and roving bands *an whatever portion of
the trail they chose. Shithead, Fits In, Tongueless,
and Drill Me spent their time trading leads as each at various
times found the missing link that kept them together. D’anglin
Anglin, the Gypsies’ own missing link was once again
off in his own world. Trail crossed 7th Ave. and the ball
diamond to pass along a fence line where an arrow guided the pack
toward a drop into the darkness. Bite Size stealing a
page from Whippet Out’s book turned Drill Me
into a luge and sailed her down the slope on her ass. Having been in
the same position many times the sound of her banging and thumping
down the slope combined with her cries “ouch, ow, shit” were
music to Tongueless’ ears. While Bite Size, Whippet
In, and Whippet Out stood around giving each other high
fives Shithead, ever the gentleman, stood over the body
mumbling “she better be able to walk ‘cause I’m not carrying
her.” Fits In’s patented slap across the face and “
Stand up and die like a Gypsy” quickly revived her. Finally
making their way to the De Young Museum the intrepid band found Dr.
Kimble and Bag Lady wandering the streets in search of
trail. A scene worthy of the Abbot and Costello ensued before Dr.
K and BL were once again on course. Eventually the lost
were found and the pack resurfaced in its entirety back at the start.
Some apparently were more lost than others as Dick Chick
surfaced from her sojourn to the Boathouse at Lake Merced. One
wonders how long she spent at the other boathouse at the other lake
before she realized the folly of her ways. Imagine her embarrassment
when she found out that Dickless Namehole, who needs a guide
dog, map, and compass to find his way to the bathroom, had no trouble
finding the correct boathouse. All this was forgotten when the Sacred
Bucket was produced and filled with Mai-Tais. In no time at
all Chickless Boner was sitting on the tarmac doing a Lois and
talking to his crotch but unlike Lois he wasn’t getting any
answers. How sad to have had his own dick turn against him. Bigfoot
was announcing her upcuming surgery and passing out an individualized
list of chores for each of the pack present. Included was a list of
gifts suitable for her welcome home from the hospital shower that she
assigned several of pack to conduct. Suddenly seized by the
realization of just how sick a group he’d found himself in Just
Daniel announced that he had to leave to “go dancing with a
friend.” pointing out how lame an excuse that was Enter The
Gerbil shoved a down-down into his fist and brow beat him for the
real story. Thumper was soon flashing away with his new
digital. Rumor has it that the camera has now been paid for out of
the proceeds he received for deleting those pictures of Dick
Chick and Muff Snatcher behind the boathouse. Of
course that’s only a rumor. King Rongjon was busy
wielding the Sword Of Power striking fear into those sober
enough to feel it. Phone Sex definitely did not fit
into that category. With each Mai-Tai she consumed she floated higher
and higher above the fray. Handjob For Humanity announced her
New Year’s resolution was to actually pay for her drinks which sent
SCAF into a swoon. Twinkle Dick was his usual
sober self as Pied Piper tied him to his bicycle and
shoved him off down the hill. No one had the nerve to check out the
subsequent crash site but then no news is good news. The pack
eventually emptied the Bucket and moved on to wreak havoc
elsewhere. Checking!. Cheers.