Run #497 Thursday in the Park without Otto

Manhole hared the trail last Thursday and went onto the SPCA’s most wanted list at the same time. Not satisfied with abusing his fellow hashers he beat his co-hare poor pooch Otto into the dirt. Manhole called the hounds to bay at the windmill at the north end of Golden Gate Park. As usual the pack was slow to gather and Fuck Me, Father impatient to make a fool of himself left and then came back. Fucking Shut Up having faith in her master was willing to just hang around and bark annoyingly. As dusk settled over the park and the hare was away the pack’s mind turned toward a religious experience. Baby Huey visiting from San Diego read a passage from the Male Missal while Go Nad took note of who might be turned on by the reading so he could avoid *unning near them. The sweat on Thurston Bowel The Turd’s forehead signaled that he’d be *unning alone. The look between Splat and Little Johnson was clearly one of “who’d of guessed it.” Baby Huey himself was spotted flicking a few pages and smacking his lips. While some, we won’t say who (at least not yet), may have been questioning their sexual preference the pack was on-on. Trail turned east onto JFK down the pavement till it finally hit a trail and turned deep into the woods. Definitely in the mood to prove his preferences I R Stupid was dogging Just Catherine’s footsteps causing her to *un like the wind. Escrowtum seeing her tiring neatly body checked I R into oblivion proving once again that sisterhood is powerful. Trail eventually exited the park and turned uphill toward the VA Hospital. At Clement there was an eagle/turkey split and while those like D’anglin Anglin and Just Sean were using a long trail as a penis substitute those more secure in themselves gobbled towards home. Fits In nudged Drill Me and noted that Tongueless should have taken the eagle trail since even a substitute was better than nothing and as the “colonel’s lady and Judy O’Grady” laughed hysterically, even Bite Size wagged her tail with glee, poor Tongueless hung his head, all he apparently has to hang, and followed Whippet In and Whippet Out towards the beer check. Trail took the turkeys through Sutro Heights Park to the steps leading down the sand dunes. Manhole was firmly established at the top doling out piss to the penitent. From there the turkeys had a straight shot back to the start and the Sacred Bucket. Alas the eagles didn’t fair as well since marks apparently were missing at the Palace of the Legion of Honor. Always resourceful Thumper saved the day by wanking out a new trail for the eagles to follow. By the time he led the pack in he was shriveled, empty, and suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome but was a hero. Goes Down Easy set herself the task of reviving his will to hump, what a humanitarian. Three cups of River Madness and ten minutes in the bushes with GDE turned Thumper into a new man. Too bad she wasn’t feeling as much pity for Dead Dick. Just back from Goa where they did a superb job leading the Gypsies’ circles and spreading the Gypsy Gospel Bigfoot and Enter The Gerbil were all down-downed out so the task fell to Tongueless. First up was a true Gypsy hero Dickless Namehole. Victim of a wallet draining divorce Dickless made the Gypsies proud by marrying beau coup boodle and going from rags to riches the old fashioned way proving yet again that it’s just as easy to fall in lust with a rich woman as a poor one. Kudos to Dickless. No sooner was he finished drinking than Just John was asking for his advice on following suit. If Pied Piper had been there which he wasn’t because he wasn’t in the city because his plane was delayed he’d have been doing yet another “Please Lord don’t let my bitchy wife find out I was with the Gypsies” down-down. Shithead announced that he was closing the deal for a house in Tahoe which turned him into a chick magnet; of course it’s been so long since he’s had any that he’s forgotten how. Not to worry it’s like riding a bicycle. Scarlet O’Hairy and Rhett Butthole arrived late. Scarlet was proud to announce that her weekend in Alabama had been a success, she’d single handedly drained the state of sperm and left the entire male population with a smile on their faces. That’s our Scarlet. Rhett was more interested in learning about Sperm Alley and Just Doesn’t Get It and his boytoy Just John II offered to take him on a guided tour. Napoleon Bonerdog would of course act as chaperone. McTaco arrived late and opted out of touring anything but the Bucket. No Hands and Meat Pie showed up to baby Baby Huey and as the moon rose over the park the pack headed to the Beach Chalet for mediocre food, bad service, and more piss. On-on to the 500^th.