Run #499 The World Weary Series

While some wankers were wasting their evening watching a pair of Wild Card wussies wrangle over which team that didn’t belong there in the first place would win the World Series the real deals were enjoying a world class trail set as a virgin lay by Just John. True, there were some flaws like the directions that divided the pack between two ends of the parking lot for the Safeway at Diamond and Goldmine. This little glitch left Fuck Me, Father lost and alone with nothing better to do than hump Fucking Shut Up… yet again (the litter is expected in December). Not only did they miss a great trail but the sodden reappearance of the former Grand Masturbator and all around Poobah of the Whine & Chowder Society, none other than Cuming Mutha himself. Was their a star in the East or could this have been an early sign of the cuming apocalypse? Aglow with the honor of his presence the task of giving the evening’s benediction fell to him. Taking the Male Missal manfully (no pun intended) in hand he carried out his sacrilegious duties with aplomb. So heart felt was his reading that Muff Snatcher swore he’d been converted to “the love that dare not speak it’s name” unless it’s speaking to Just Doesn’t Get It who wouldn’t know what it was talking about anyway. No worries Napoleon Bonerdog would explain it. Religion having been handily disposed of the pack was on-on. Trail led through the mall into the park behind and eventually out onto Duncan. Wanking and spanking the pack trail finally dropped into Glen Canyon Park where it was crystal clear that flashlight time had cum back to fog city. The narrow dark trail with its low slung tree branches became a video arcade for Whippet In and Whippet Out and the name of the game was Behead Tongueless. Happily, at least for Tongueless, they lost. Splat on the other hand took a header and Drill Me was forced to drag Bite Size off of what she assumed would be dinner. This led to an argument with Manhole who was hoping Otto could learn from the Mistress of Malevolence. Looking at what Bite Size was trying to do to Splat a passing Likes To Lick was heard mumbling “thank goodness she doesn’t like dark meat.” Having had its ups and downs the trail brought the pack to a drink stop at the recreation center in Glen Canyon Park where the hare had thoughtfully provided a bottle of Peach Schnapps. Enjoying the drink Just Catherine announced that it went down easy, flicking a lascivious tongue in her ear Just Scott whispered “only the idea is hard to swallow.” He won’t be doing much himself what with the broken jaw and all. Naked Hasher suggested Just Catherine might be interested in some anger management classes…but not too loudly. Bigfoot was busy high fiving the hottie hitter and doing her “You go girl” best impression. Enter The Gerbil just rolled his eyes and mumbled that she’d been that way ever since the malaria meds for Goa kicked in. While the Gypsy bimbos were hulking out it was time for the pack to be on the move. Leaving Glen Canyon our hare took the pack on a tour of Noe Valley before turning them back up Duncan and home to the Sacred Bucket. Vodka tonics were the order of the night and once everything had been moved away from the prying eyes of a cop who was cooping and watching the game the pack settled into an evening’s drinking. With the King not present Enter The Gerbil did the honors down-downswise. Sadly Just John was punished for those few lapses on trail like the use of dark blue chalk at night. Things would have gone easier for him had the vodka tonics not conjoined with Bigfoot’s malaria meds. Suffice it to say the outcum was an ugly sight. Open Wide believes that reconstructive surgery will be easier than it first appeared. When a giggling BF decided to play toss the caber with D’anglin Anglin as the caber Fits In decided that enough was enough and she along with Glory Hole and Scarlett O’Hairy brought down Bigfoot. Enter The Gerbil recalling the cost of upholstery the last time this happened flatly refused to allow her to be locked in the car. Nameless Dickhole ever the gent granted access to his car trunk where BF was soon ranting and raving in a space small enough to prevent injury to herself or others. The evening continued and the pack moved on to the Mira Loma Club where a calmer, read that sedated, Bigfoot was released. On to the 500^th. Cheers.