Run #1486 The Brakes, THE FUCKING BRAKES!

Dr. Kimble decided to set a Gypsies trail from the parking lot at Drakes Landing in Greenbrae at Sir Francis Drake Blvd. and Drakes Landing Rd. Two things should have told the pack what Dr. K had planned for them, A. he was giving our shots of Ouzo and B. he asked 5150 what was the farthest he’d gone on his knee scooter. 5150 should have realized it when he told Dr. K he’d gone 4 whole blocks at one time and Dr. K handed him the Ouzo bottle. Clearly Dr. K was saying that the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder wasn’t going to be enough of a painkiller. The Gypsies are used to a clown car driven by Hand Pump but Manhole was driving the clown truck filled with the likes of Adopt A Pussy and Blow Queen. Missed Delivery picked this *un to return to the Gypsies fold and he brought that tall drink of water Tonya Hardon from the East BayH3. The way Tonya H was eyeing legs made Hand Pump happy he didn’t have ice skates. Cheese Turd nagged his pal Just Mark into taking a fling on the Gypsies simply because JM and Tongueless are from Chicago and had gone to high school not far apart and at the same time, Cheese Turd lit the fuse but wasn’t around for any explosion, there was none. Speaking of explosions, Missed Delivery read from the Male Missal and detonated a sermon that passersby will be talking about for weeks to cum! 5 Angry Inches swore the sermon added at least an extra inch! Dr. K mumbled a chalktalk that gave the pack a few more or less mileages for the Eagle/Turkey trails and that there was a walkers’ trail then sipping from his Ouzo bottle sent the pack into the night. Trail started with a circle to which even the Lost Patrol succumbed. There was 5150 looking at the paved bit with marks so he said, “Hey, how bad can this trail be?” Fits In looked him in the eye and said, “What fools these mortals be!” Living with T has given FI a Shakespearean outlook on life. Trail went under Highway 101 and across Corte Madera Creek. The pack got to see the new bike and ped bridge around the creek and mourn the loss of the famous railroad bridge that Clint Eastwood jumped off in Dirty Harry. Trail took the pack along the Cal-Park Hill Pathway through the hill separating Larkspur from San Rafael. The pack got to enjoy both a hill climb and a drop back down that involved Manhole almost running into a neck high wire, he came straight down the hill. Pied Piper judiciously turned the corner on a paved path instead. In case anyone was hungry the pack went through a shopping center with both a West Brooklyn Pizza Shop and an El Pollo Loco. Once more across the Freeway and Dr. K’s question for 5150 took on real relevance. Trail climbed up to 101 and then onto city streets that were designed to cause nosebleeds. When the trail wasn’t going straight up a steep section it was switchbacking up an even steeper one. Manhole and Wash This Asshole hung back with 5150 while he pushed himself, and that scooter uphill. The Three Not Very Wisemen looked very like a 3 Stooges remake. Eventually the summit was reached where Tiburon Blvd., Bret Harte Rd. and Via La Cumbre came together. Suddenly the road turned as steeply downhill on Via La Cumbre as it had been on uphill on the other side. WTA gave 5150 a shove and yelling, “Ride ‘em cowboy” looked on in delight. The smoke people saw was from 5150’s brakes as he tried to keep from sailing off into space or colliding with cross traffic. Part way down the LP was met by Bitches Bitch who was looking for survivors. He told them that Dr. K was at the bottom for an Ouzo check then went off to search for Lois Lame who was somewhere on some part of the trail. Eventually trail flattened out at the bottom and the start which was now the finish was regained. The whole pack was reunited in dribs and drabs smelling of Ouzo and eventually Dr. K staggered back with one leg tied to Adopt A Pussy and considerably less Ouzo than he’s started with. Blow Queen who’d tied the knot found them terribly amusing. The keg was tapped the Cloak Of Invisibility set over it and the Vitamin J was joined by the Sacred Thermi filled with coffee and bottles of Irish Cream and Brandy to cut the caffeine. Eat My Pussy wondered aloud why when Bitches Bitch saw him on trail offered carry him down. Lois Lame mumbled, “Once a rescuer always a rescuer”. One Night Only who was sweating like a sauna headed home to shower. T took up the Sword Of Power and trying not to cause any accidentally fatal injuries conducted the Circle. As a virgin, Just Mark was called up and asked to entertain the pack, his offer to let Tonya Hardon kneecap him got a great response. The keg died heroically and the Sacred Thermi went home empty. Cheers.