Run #1374 CHARGE!

Pied Piper laid last weeks trail for the Gypsies from the parking lot of the old cavalry barns on McDowell and Cowles in the Presidio and the Gypsies had never started there before, unique. These days the parking lot is filled with Millennials heading off to do yoga or avoid real climbing in the climbing gym. Who’s Your Daddy set the tone by setting off a whine about the lack of parking…while he changed from one spot to another. Chickenboner just rolled her eyes and mumbled that WYD is often the definition of cognitive dissonance. Tongue Punch My Fart Box, a name to conjure with, was back once more from SeattleH3 and brought yet another boy toy for the amusement of the Gypsies’ bim brigade, Just Larkin. As to JL’s success ratio, that Just Lily and Mans Best Hole wouldn’t take treats from him tells you all you need to know. The gathering pack was pounding down pints from the keg of Lagunitas IPA watching America’s future wandering through the parking lot not even glancing at those pints and Adopt A Pussy summed it up with “how sad tonight they’ll all be fit and sober” as he pulled another pint. “Saint” Titty Boo Boo and The Cunt Next Door arrived sans baby who they referred to as Cunty Boo Boo. “S”TBB was chomping at the bit as he needed to ace the trail and head back to the child, no one knows whether her was also heading back to the baby sitter, while TCND could do the trail at her leisure. Closet Twitcher arrived once again by pedal power but he planned to leave powered by IPA and set out to fill his tank. TPMFB gave big thumbs up to JL handling the religious reading for the evening. Even deer in headlights don’t have the same look as JL evinced while reading a sermon from the Male Missal, words do matter, especially if you choke on them cuming out. It would be wrong to say the pack not only enjoyed JL’s discomfort but actively encouraged it. Well, if that’s wrong who wants to be right, ‘cause the pack ate it up. It would be hard to decide who heckled the loudest but Dick Ass Mother Fucker and Pencil Dick were noticeable. To his credit JL took it well. Pied Piper, told the pack they could look forward to an eagle/turkey split and sent them off with his blessing. Banana In Public cast his lot with the Lost Patrol and watched the rest disappear as Tongueless and Fits In stowed the keg and rest of the miscellanea. BAP allowed that he now understood why the LP was always so far back; they are old, slow, and start on trail late! Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt were twisting on their leashes with anxiety. Trail took all concerned across the road and onto the Park Trail before crossing Veterans Blvd. and descending once more into the bush. Even with the pack far ahead the plaintive whine of Bitches Bitch over Poison Oak sang through the Presidio. Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt were happy to have Cream Chugger and Just Lily ahead of them as coyote bait since all the trails were marked KEEP YOU DOG AWAY, COYOTES. Tongue Depressor does have a history of thinking coyotes are hot stuff! As usual our hare was happiest when he was swinging a machete hacking out trail even when a perfectly good on was there. Every drop of sweat he raised on Cuming Mutha was taken as a badge of honor by our hare. On All 4s just prayed CM would shower when they got home. Eventually the pack found the turkey/eagle split and it’s amazing how many turkeys were more interested in the keg and Sacred Bucket than sweating. Of course One Nigh Only was more interested in sweating since the sweat keeps the tick bite from itching and it’s ever so hard for her to scratch her ass! Eventually the pack was back at the start and Pied Piper whipped out the Sacred Grill he also managed to bring over the only available picnic table. Once more PP managed to produce every known form of sausage and buns to go with them as well as veggie burgers for such inclined. Lois Lame handled all the condiments called for or not and the pack set itself to food and drink both from the keg and the Sacred Bucket of Yellow Peril. Our favorite Millennial, Missed Delivery arrived just in time to watch Bitches Bitch anointing the legs of TCND with Tech-nu and washing them off. MD allowed that he felt like he was watching a religious tableau and that made him hit the Bucket even harder. Tongueless’ Penis watched in awe but was quick to tell BB that he thought that his penis was PO free already. Dr. Kimble sucked from the Bucket and pronounced the pack to be of sound body even if sound mind was questionable; it’s always good to get a medical opinion. Manhole had to hold Mans Best Hole back from eating anything that hit the ground, yeah, like that was going to happen. Hand Pump once again captured the DFL title with a thrillingly late finish. King Rongjon whipped the Sword Of Power over his head guaranteeing very wide Circle and distributed Yellow Peril down-downs. JL may have told a joke but no one was sure. Just Lily publicly licked the King’s hand so she laid down as Just Lily but rose as The King’s Bitch, that will teach her to be careful who she licks. The keg coughed and died and the Bucket went home empty. It was that kind of night. Cheers.