Run #1545 Just a Bunch of April Fools

On April 1, 1993, the Gypsies had their first trail, and 30 years later they are still a gaggle of April Fools celebrating their foolishness! Pied Piper came to bat for the Gypsies by setting a trail from the newish Tunnel Tops Park in the Presidio at Halleck St. and French St. On that first trail there were 9 fools fast forward 30 years and there were 26 fools. Fits In and Tongueless were the only ones to book end the two trails. The parking lot was empty when the Outbeer slid into a space carrying the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder, but as usual the slots filled with those drawn by the siren song of cheap alcohol and a chance to make an attempt at a semblance of fitness. Jack The Ripper is an octogenarian and still *unning, he just doesn’t remember doing it.

Speaking of pounding piss, King Of Bed Bugs is off the sauce for a year. Backside Banger was really impressed having once been off the sauce himself... for a minute. He was even more impressed when he found out that it’s part of KOBB’s training regimen for his new career as a pole dancer. Udder Moron was also off the sauce but only because he didn’t think an udder moron should be drinking and riding his motorcy! The rest of the pack applauded KOBB and UM since that meant they had more to drink themselves. Since he was one of the old breed, T took up the more or less Sacred Missal and preached a sermon on family values that had a few “poles” dancing. Scarlette O’Hairy looked at Peteophile and wondered two things, would he be able to get that “pole” into their truck and were there any rooms available now! The Gypsies are a family values hash! On that note the pack was off in search of Pied Piper’s marks. Trail took the pack over the Tunnel Tops, past the Campfire Circle. Wash This Asshole sat in circle near the campfire and strummed his air ukulele while he sang Happy Trails to You in his best Roy Rogers impersonation. Manhole mused that WTA looked more like Trigger than he sounded like Roy; talk about a buzzkill. Trail took the pack to Lincoln Blvd. past the Korean War Memorial and on to Sheridan Ave. As trail, while the walkers’ trail turned towards Infantry terrace, Just Ted Aka The Other Bastard was trying to bring Just Fuck Off back to the real trail by yelling, “You went the wrong way, follow my voice!” Lois Lame told them this is what happens when you leave the walkie talkies at home! Speaking of LL, she’d left Bitches Bitch at home since PP is famous for taking the pack through PO and she didn’t want to have to bathe the boy in Teknu…again! Trail took the pack down the stairs toward the tennis courts where T overshot the trail and FI had to yell for him to follow her voice to find the right way. Apparently, she’d viewed the JTATOB and JFO incident as a learning experience. The turkey trail took the pack onto the Ecology Trail and around the El Polin Spring. PP was too lazy to lay an eagle trail so the likes of Blow Queen and Who’s Your Daddy were forced to gobble rather than soar! T’s phone rang and it was Bitch Pimp calling from near USF asking if she was on trail since she’s found some “fuzzy” flour. Clearly it was BP not the flour that was “fuzzy”. BP was miles away from trail and even Twinkle Dick flashing in the night sky wasn’t going to get her to the pack. Eventually the pack was reunited at the start and a picnic table in the Wayburn Redwood Grove was commandeered for further carousing. If there was the slightest doubt that the keg would die it was laid to rest by the arrival of 5150 and his harem of growlers. One Night Only produced her cookies and her lemon bars and even a date and nut bar with chocolate and no flour so T could rot his teeth and raise his AC1 with the pack and still be true to Passover! The table was covered with Vitamin J and FI provided a Sacred Bucket full of Mojitos! A few pops from the Bucket and Dr. Kimble was feeling VERY easy in the islands. As the sandwiches were unveiled Chicken Boner and Tears Of Semen reenacted a scene from Jaws. Cheese Turd chose that moment to arrive and watching CB and TOS shook his head and pronounced that we really needed a bigger boat. Bitch Pimp appeared having run all the way from the Uber she arrived in. T produced the Sword Of Power and convened a Circle where Tricrapalete and Just Jeorgina were officially designated as Gypsies’ ambassadors for their trip to Argentina and Europe. All the food was eaten by the humans leaving some very sad raccoons. After 5150 and his growlers WTA was barely able to coax a fart out of the keg. Another misspent night well spent with the Gypsies. Cheers.