Run # 1505 The Backside of a Birthday!

It was Backside Banger’s Bday so he called for his cohort in chaos Adopt A Pussy to help him lay a trail for the Gypsies in honor of his natal day! Just to be “on the safe side”, uh huh, BB and AAP asked Manhole to provide his wisdom as well, hey, what could go wrong! The triumvirate called the pack to Magellan and Sola above the Forest Hills Muni Station. In due time the Outbeer slipped into position and the keg of Lagunitas IPA was tapped. The pack arrived as usual, like water dripping off a towel. Backwash wasn’t happy to find that the bunting, flags, glitter and signs she’d brought wouldn’t be necessary for the party, since, well, there was no party! Just Georgina told Backwash to just cross out the name on the signs and put in a different one. The Gypsies being the Gypsies wouldn’t notice the difference, problem solved. Tri Crapalete pointed out that’s why JG is paid the big bucks. Who’s Your Daddy, still drunk from the night before, wrapped himself in the bunting and announced he would *un trail that way. Chickenboner grabbed one end and out spun WYD like a top on steroids. While the pack blocked the sidewalk civilians were forced to *un the gauntlet AND they didn’t even have beer. In an effort to give something back to the poor passersby Exaggerated Crack took up the Male Missal and preached sermon of such excruciating pleasure that the EastbayH3’s Comes So Often twitched and lived up to her name. Suck Squeeze Bang Blow, eyes shut. rocked in perfect rhythm to the cadence of EC’s voice! Eat My Pussy had to backhand him to bring SSBB back to reality, it was a gentle backhand! Our hares declared a chalktalk that cautioned the pack to carry cash and ID since there was a pub stop and to avoid getting killed in traffic. Manhole took command of the Lost Patrol assuming that the likes of Tongueless, Fits In and 5150 were not hoping for a strenuous experience. On the other hand there was Just Fuck Off and Just Ted Aka The Other Bastard dropping into a sprinters crouch waiting for BB and AAP to fire off the nonexistent starters pistol. Off shot the pack in search of marks. MH guided the LP down Magellan, on a voyage of discovery, before turning them down Dewey Blvd. There is a nautical theme to the streets that makes that old salt, Dr. Kimble swell with pleasure, um, at least those of his organs that can still swell. With unerring navigational skill MH brought the LP to the Miraloma Club on Portola. The pub was full and grew exponentially as the pack meandered in. The bartender, with visions of the tips that would be paying off her student loans, she doesn’t know the Gypsies, pulled pints and poured booze. In honor of BB’s BDAY Mrs. BB, her hash name escapes your scribe, arrived with his favorite dessert, chocolate rice pudding or maybe tapioca all that piss made the taste indistinct. The vultures in human form, like Twinkle Dick, glowed with pleasure at the sound of “FREE” and decimated the offering. As fast as the whirlwind blew in it blew back out and headed back to the start. Our hares created some distance for the sake of distance and MH took the pack past his lair then crossed streets that put the DGK marks into real perspective before sending the pack up past the Muni Station and back to the start. The Cloak Of Invisibility was tossed over the keg and Vitamin J was strewn around it. The Sacred Bucket was filled with Fits In’s version of Sex on the Beach, perfect for the furious cold winds that were blowing. The pack was graced by the late arrival of Choke Me, Daddy along with Yank Me Daddy who was yanking her and Tears of Semen. Jack The Ripper and Hand Pump were locked in a furious race for DFL but Wash This Asshole declared it a photo finish before offering to be their “wealth manager”, hey, you never know when the combination of piss and the Bucket will make someone vulnerable. One Night Only insisted she was blue from the light not the cold but she took off anyway. EMP stepped up to announce that he was haring a MarinH3 trail in July then having accomplished his mission for being there took off with SSBB to ssbb! A Circle might have existed, and T might have wished BB a Hashy Bday but all that Bucket has clouded his already nonexistent memory. Growlers came out but the keg lived on and even the Bucket survived. Still a fine time was had, or so it seems, by all. Cheers.