Run #463 Some Redheaded Sluts
What
a confluence of events; Valentine’s Day, the Chinese Year of the
Whores, and Likes To Lick’s Bday all cuming together at the
same time. Combine this with the fact that the Gypsies had
received a terrorist warning from the Ayatollah Throbbing Vessel
himself alerting virgins to save their souls by avoiding the infidel
pleasures of hashing. Actually the warning had been delivered by his
long suffering wife Gets It In The End at his behest. Well,
fatwa’s be damned, the Gypsies are nothing if not brave. Our
hares of the evening Handjob For Humanity and SCAF
decided to twist the tail of the mad mullah by declaring this a Red
Dress *un making his vessel throb even more at the thought of manly
men in minis. Being cheap as well as short of both guts and nuts the
Ayatollah was spotted at the Macy’s Red Tag sale stocking up on
burkhas for his daughters rather than ranting at the *un. At great
personal risk Gets It In The End went over the wall of the
seraglio and disguised as a dancing girl opted for a night of
pleasure with her friends. Not only did she dis the silly sheik on
her own but jamming a thumb in his all seeing eye made virgins Amy,
Chris, and Pat cum. It was a night for newcumers. Lois
Lame pitched Just Randy and Just Sunny into the
Gypsies pot and the pot turned lucky with Just Sunny
providing a stimulating reading of the Sacred Missal. Tits
4 Hire looking mighty slinky in a red sheath number made Just
Ira cum in the hopes that he’d do the same for her later. Even
the hares couldn’t resist they made Just Jim cum. Six
Million Won Man just out of the Army made himself cum. Son
Of Shit and Voyeur were there but of course they’ve
never made anyone cum. Dick Chick came but couldn’t stay as
she was off to cum again, she hoped, but she made sure Open Wide
got where she was going. What a friend. The parking lot in front of
Red’s Java House on the Embarcadero and Bryant was a sea of red,
period. The only sore thumbs were the sadly color blind and fashion
unconscious Shithead and Glory Hole who opted for
showing up dressed in blue. One wonders if their coordination was an
accident or is there a new coo some twosome in the offing.
Valentine’s Day saw the transformation of Xena The Warrior
Princess into Cupid. There he was wings, halo, and all but
instead of a bow (he wasn’t interested in another weapons charge)
he was handing out heart shaped Viagra tabs. One can only ponder the
meaning of Bag Lady shoveling them into her handbag while
gazing into Dr. Kimble’s eyes. The Sacred Missal
having provided its usual enlightenment the pack was on-on. As the
hounds cruised down the Embarcadero patrons of Gordon Biersch leaned
over the deck to slap high fives and applaud the comic clothes horses
as they raced by. Bedecked in a Tina Turner wig and looking like all
101 Dalmatians stuffed in a red sausage casing Tongueless came
in for a fair share of the customers’ laughter. As blinded by the
wig as he usually is by his ego he found it necessary to shear his
locks and pass them back to Fits In who was dashing along in a
red smock that included pockets. The wig poking out caused some
dismay in passers by as they thought it was small animal. Speaking of
animals, the night of love saw some gnashing of teeth between Bite
Size and Whippet Out. The perennially on the rag Bite
Size pushed WO just once to often and his response sent
her flying into the arms of Drill Me who suddenly found
herself looking like a statue of the Madonna and Child that could be
found at Petco. Trail took the pack to Walton Park where a Jell-O
check provided enough alcohol to inspire the pack to move on to the
promised beer check. Winding its way through North Beach and
Chinatown the trail allowed tourists and locals alike to feast their
eyes on Chickless Boner looking like a transvestite from the
antebellum South. He charged through the city in a red taffeta number
that exposed his shoulders and the rest of him to well deserved
ridicule. Somewhere along here Tits 4 Hire decided that the
trail should go through the Tenderloin so she led the lemmings on a
long cut completely lacking in marks. Well as the hash saying goes
“If you will lead they will follow.” The promised beer check took
place at South Park just a hop, skip, and flounce from the start.
When the pack regrouped the parking lot at Red’s resembled
menstruation manor as the sea of red ebbed and flowed around the
Sacred Bucket filled with Red Headed Sluts. Our HJH and
SCAF concocted the poisonous punch from cranberry juice,
Jaegermeister, and peach Schnapps. The punch was potent enough to
turn heads and ankles. The evening wore on and even Whippet In
and Whippet Out were wearing red when the sloppy slurpers
dumped drinks as they dropped to the tarmac. Muff Snatcher was
one of the first to fall. Only later did it become clear that he
spent the time on his back looking up Beats Me’s short red
skirt. Photo ops abounded. Gored Bush was equally seductive in
her red vinyl slut suit and the T-shirt notifying the world that she
was “Good Pussy.” Deep in her cups and half our of her red toga
Scarlett O’Hairy made it very clear to Broken
Trojan that she wouldn’t mind a little horsing around. Just
Carolyn ended up on the ground not from alcohol but from Rhett
Butthole toppling over her; at least the pack was able to see
that in her case the rug matched the drapes. When a Butthole
falls there is a sound. A cantankerous King Rongjon finally
agreed to administer down-downs when Enter The Gerbil put a
gun to his head and cocked the hammer. Sword Of Power in hand
the King delivered down-downs and a Bday poem for Likes To
Lick while Bigfoot acting like a giant red Corgi herded
miscreant private partiers towards the circle. Awards were presented
for a number of obscure things mainly to do with dress or lack
thereof. Scrotum was occupied trying to convince Manhandler
to make Red Headed Slut more than just a drink, unsuccessfully. Rug
Burns put in an appearance escaping her Ayatollah by tunneling
out of the cage. Phone Sex offered to hide her but Rug
Burns eventually returned to durance vile because she had
nothing to wear. Gets It In The End supplied a cake for LTL
with enough sugar to guarantee continued fermentation of the alcohol
and Open Wide kept pouring those Sluts down his throat like
Love Potion Number Nine. When she wasn’t trying to live out liquor
is quicker she was busy passing out Valentines. Sadly some love went
unrequited. Nutless Sac wearing a red sheath Carmen Miranda
reject with elbow length demigloves and a dreadlocks wig was found
weeping over the lose of virgin Just Mark who he’d
made cum. By the time Just Mark reappeared Nutless’
mascara was hopelessly smeared and fearing rejection he hid in his
truck. No one could understand how Just Mark could have spent
so much time on trail until he unbuttoned his cleavage and all those
quarters dropped out. Wow and the trail never went anywhere near the
Castro. At this point Xena morphed again this time from Cupid
to your kindly old pedophile padre and Sacred Bucket in hand
he began ladling out absolution to the sinners while copping an
occasional feel. The pack eventually invaded the Curve Bar which now
requires extensive renovation. Ah, those Ladies in red. Cheers.