Run # 464 For Sale: Two Slightly Used Virgins

The trail was half *un and Manisex Destiny was still laughing so hard at the idea of Just Karen and Boulder Holder, the hares, claiming to be virgins that the tears made it hard for him to see. Dire threats rolled from the keyboard of Boulder Holder promising death and dismemberment at best for those who chose to challenge their virginity. On the other hand she so shamelessly promoted the trail that her future as a political flack is assured. The two hymen hording harrietttes gathered the pack at the parking lot for Lincoln Park Golf Course on Clement and 34^th Ave promising pain and plenty of alcohol to offset it. Religion was provided by Just Julie whose deer in the headlights demeanor concealed a born reader of the Sacred Missal. Once she got going it was like the Exorcist cum to life. D’anglin Anglin was so taken by her performance that instead of chanting “Tits out for the boys” he was begging for her to spin her head one more time. Lucky there were no spare crucifixes handy or he would have gotten a real show. So kinky was her performance that Cupcake began to self frost. Had she gone any further it’s likely that Dickless Namehole would have had to change his name to just plain Namehole. This babe can read. Having been filled to overflowing with religion the pack was off fiddle fucking around the golf course as a start. The pack fell victim to the hares desire to protect the earth from the ravages of too much flour. The trail had fewer spots on it than a Tampex. Bite Size was thrilled to find a drop off where should could again coach Drill Me in proper luge technique, just wait until the next Winter Olympics. Seeing Drill Me sail off the edge of world and Whippet In salivating at the thought to taking him down the same section Tongueless opted for cowardice over compact fractures and with Fits In and Whippet Out in tow held the high ground. Trail ran along the cliffs and took the pack to the promised beer check at Land’s End. The hares lived up to their promise to provide pain by stocking the beer check with Budweiser and MGD. As the pack milled around the parking lot trying to decide whether there was more alcohol in the beers or the Crystal Geyser No Hands looking for Sammy stumbled on Scarlett O’Hairy and Elliott proving that bestiality is not just best for boys. McTaco is going to have to have that talk with Elliott. Suddenly the pack was off again. Trail took the hounds up hill to the bunkers behind the Veterans’ Hospital. Dr. Kimble and Bag Lady must have been surprised to find out just how much of an echo there is in those old bunkers, if those moans had been any louder Stephen King would have written a book about them. LCB was back from Singapore his desire to be the FRB undiminished. As Shithead sailed past him LCB’s judiciously placed foot had the pack believing that a man really could fly. The soft landing she provided Shithead gave a whole new meaning for Goes Down Easy’s name. It would have been easier to disentangle them if they hadn’t been enjoying it so much. Trail continued through the parking lot of the hospital as security personnel thinking the pack had slipped out of the psych ward tried to round them up. When last seen I R Stupid was still trying to convince them that he wasn’t entitled to free room and board, an uphill fight for him. Dodging butterfly nets the pack headed for home and the Sacred Bucket. In his desperate desire to get at Fits In’s vodka margaritas Nutless Sac eschewed the Bucket for the new Sacred Thermos where the drink was cooling its heels. Lying on his back letting the drink drain down his throat Nutless was so lost in vodkaland that Almond Joy had to drag him away so he could assume the position. It wasn’t long before the parking lot was turned into a Gypsy living room with all the hapless booze hounds slouched in their portable chairs. Likes To Lick, ever inventive and lazy, has even attached a folding portapotty to his doing away with the need for Depends. It wasn’t long before the vodka found its mark. Six Of Nine, looking like he’d fallen into a vat of Grecian Formula, was putting the moves on Lois Lame who clearly was an immovable object. Not to be denied Six then turned his attention to Muff Snatcher who left him swinging but not the way he’d planned. A kind hearted Open Wide finally cut him down. King Rongjon seized the Sword Of Power and distributed down-downs to the deserving including Biggus Stickus, a visitor from somewhere unknown. Bigfoot foolishly chanted for “Dicks out for the girls” and paid the price of looking at his miniroot when it was whipped out. Thumper had to apply the hindlick maneuver to keep her from choking on her tongue and all he got in for his trouble was a bad taste in his mouth and a slap on the face. All this sent a non-weather related chill through Naked Hasher who fled the scene trying desperately to retain what little sanity he has left. Apple Pie Ho decided that a late arriving Manhandler looked good enough to eat and set about heating her up for later. Rhett Butthole having stuffed a Zig Zag asked a very toasted SCAF if he wanted to blow and got more than he’d bargained for. Not that he was complaining. Hello Kitty visiting from KobeH3 was having some problems with the language but found that the vodka needed no translation. Neither did what Dip Sea Shit had on his mind although he was able to clarify some more bizarre nuances with hand signs. As she made the rounds Six Million Won Man was hoping not to miss his turn with Beats Me and was happy find he had a lower number than Glory Hole. While estrogen and testosterone fogged the air Wankee Doodle sat quietly against a tree playing with himself and yodeling softly to no one in particular. Taking all this in Phone Sex was heard to mumble about needing to get a life just not yet. Per usual San Francisco’s finest arrived to serve and protect. It didn’t take them long to realize they fallen down the rabbit hole and they just sat back and enjoyed their trip to Wonderland. As the alcohol drained from the Thermos the pack moved on to the Tee Off for more libations and lust. The hash; all for one and sometimes one for everybody. Cheers.