Run #482 Scrabble Sux

Okay, anyone who is worried about global warming should have been forced to spend last Thursday night with the Gypsies in Golden Gate Park. Welcome to the next Ice Age. The pack found the hares Phone Sex and Lois Lame huddling together for warmth or for hot lesbian action. Only early arrival Naked Hasher knows for sure but he is charging for the negatives. Aside from our hares the hottest thing going at the Sharon Arts Center was the reading of the Sacred Missal by Just Jen a yummy bit supplied to the Gypsies by Manhandler. The parable wasn’t much to speak of luckily since it could barely be heard over the argument of Just John and Just Sean over who should get the breast and who the thigh of our evening’s reader. Lois has been lamer than usual thanks to a bulging disk but tonight she was more interested in the bulge in Just Guy’s shorts. Only the swift intervention of his dog Libby saved him from becoming yet another notch on Lois’ practically whittled away bedpost. Rather than stand still and freeze the pack chose to be on-on, all except McTaco who was being deiced yet again by Eager Beaver. Trail circle jerked through the park eventually dropping the pack onto JFK Drive. The occasional bits of flour and tiny arrows were useful but for those in the know following Shit Eating Grin’s Sasquatch size shoe prints made life much easier. Napoleon Bonerdog cruising along ahead of Just Doesn’t Get It was hot on the trail of whatever made those prints with visions of MEAT *unning through her tiny brain. It just goes to show how neither one of them gets it. Trail dove into the forest and didn’t resurface until 25^th Ave. and then only for a moment before it headed back off the pavement. An eagle/turkey split was laid at the Polo Field with many an eagle feeling like a turkey when trail was lost. Rumor has it that D’anglin Anglin may still be out looking for marks. Udder Moron was trudging along in full motorcycle gear trying to stay warm but looking more like a Friday the 13^th sequel. Udder Moron…hmmm, maybe those Ds should be Ts. Lucky though that he was wearing that suit when he came on (no pun intended) Drill Me having a whiz in the woods. Bite Size grabbed for the gold and only his suit kept him from singing soprano. Hearing the scream Comes Slowly headed over to see what had happened and one look at the Gypsies’ answer to Jason sent her into a dead faint. Unable to revive her, Whippet In and Whippet Out were assigned to haul the body back to the start. Because any excuse to shortcut the trail will do Tongueless led the odd looking rescue party home where a late arriving Chickless Boner assumed the worst and gleefully announced he’d always fancied shagging Comes Slowly. She was eventually revived, her honor intact, by a massive infusion of red wine and left to Sadie’s tender mercies. Even the turkey trail was so long that Bigfoot and Enter The Gerbil were eyeing Splat as an alternative food source. Once the eagles and turkeys were reunited the Sacred Bucket filled with vodka, lemonade, and passion fruit liqueur, and cognac was a much sought after dispenser of antifreeze. The hares were busy trying to barbq what food hadn’t been snagged by two legged denizens of the park. They were ably assisted by Dead Dick who would have done anything to get close to the heat; his melted gloves added just the right frisson to the burgers. All of their *unning combined with wildly gymnastic sex has finally laid (no pun intended) Open Wide and Likes To Lick low. Moving like ninety year olds with osteoporosis the two had to be fed by The Ripper who was kind enough to not only cut but prechew their burgers for them. So weak were they that they were barely able to set up the Scrabble board that turned the hash from a Drinking Club with a *unning Problem into a bunch of people whining about illegal words and trying to use all seven letters. Scrabble turned the pack into a pack of kibitzers. King Rongjon eschewed the Sword Of Power for the power to make a word with an X. Needless to say there was no circle with everyone engrossed in the word play. The cold was forgotten and the Sacred Bucket ignored as the pack became drunk on Scrabble. Pubic Perm found himself mediating disputes over words when he remembered that he had a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary in his trunk. It was mass hysteria. 5150 and Fits In were pummeling each other in an argument over the legality of proper nouns; this from two people who could be Alzheimer’s poster children. Twinkle Dick was so mesmerized that all he could do was sit by the board and drool, not that anyone could have said he was other than normal. LCB finally saved the day by tossing the board on to a barbq pit sending the evil thing back to Hell. Tits 4 Hire was so outraged by his actions that she vowed to bring Pictionary next week. This was SCAF’s swan song with the Gypsies as he’s moved back to Raleigh. We’ll miss the big lug he was so easy to humiliate. Go Nad wasted no time offering the benefit of himself to Handjob For Humanity who was busy stockpiling D cells. While this was going on Pump Fake and Stool Sample were playing Let’s Make a Deal with Goes Down Easy. It’s good to see that some things never change. Cheers.