Run #1343 He Wasn’t Born Yesterday!

In his never ending desire to get as much beer out of Lagunitas as possible Who’s Your Daddy laid the trail for the Gypsies last Thurs. WYD gathered the Pack at Clarendon Ave. and Olympia Way, a kind of all purpose start it’s the site of Midtown Playground, across from a fire station and the Armenian Apostolic Church and with the Sutro Reservoir right there in case a body for two needs disposal. WYD could not stop singing the praises of the Playground’s toilets and even Tongueless had to say they were so superb that he felt guilty using them. Dick Ass Mother Fucker was busy tooting his own horn, but this time not using his left hand, about how he had to leave early because great son that he is he was taking his mother to dinner. That brought a tear to Fuck Norris’s eye until DAMF mentioned that he was taking mom to dinner at an In and Out. The Sacred Cooler was filled with Lagunitas Born Yesterday that made sure of a constant flow, no pun intended, to those classy toilets. Cockulus Occulus strode to the dais, meaning the street behind the Outbeer, and Traveling Missal in hand preached a sermon that had the Armenian clergy hanging out the windows and applauding, or at least Che Gayvara claims he saw and heard them but we know how Che gets after a few pints. WYD took off prior to the reading to lay the trail live and no chalktalk was forthcuming. He did lay down an arrow to show the pack the direction to head towards and off they went. The Lost Patrol was as usual slow in forming as 5150 made his usual late arrival. Phone Sex was point for the LP. Cockulus Occulus and Fuck Norris joined the halt lame and lazy with FN wondering aloud just what she’d let herself in for. King Rongjon went along to ease his troubled knee but soon realized he could ease it while more perched on a bar stool at, some say, the Philosopher’s Club or the Mira Loma Club. Trail took all concerned down Clarendon before abruptly turning into to woods and uphill. In the distance Laguna Honda Hospital could be seen as a landmark. The trail switchbacked up through the woods providing the pack with a view of garbage cans filled with all the detritus of urban living. The garbage in the cans would have been on the trail if it hadn’t been picked up. Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt were driven mad by the odiferous cans and found it necessary to check each one. Trail momentarily exited to Laguna Honda Blvd. before reentering the woods behind the Juvenile Probation Department Detention Center, somehow oddly appropriate for this band of overage juveniles. At this point Tongueless’ guts decided to erupt with the force of Mt. Kilauea. While the rest of the LP took off in search of trail T took off in search of a spot fill with his personal lava. Yes, your scribe is perfectly aware of how disgusting this image is but your mind’s eye cannot compete with the visuals Fits In had of snagging bits of grass, leaves and twigs to serve as toile paper. The volcanic eruptions occurred with a clocklike consistency so with Fits In and the hounds T left the field of combat and followed trail back to Woodside Ave. and long, slow and careful plod back to those exceptional bathrooms. Unaware by T’s misery, not that they’d care, the pack continued on trail until it exited at Panorama Dr. The pack was divided as trail turned towards Twin Peaks. Blow Queen and Cuming Mutha sought out the hardest bits of trail to justify their existence in the world of men. Lois Lame insists she heard Chickenboner referring to our hare in not the kindest of terms but no one was about to praise him. Pack members arrived back from two directions. The table was set with Vitamin J and the Sacred Thermi and Sacred Cooler were brought forth. The Thermi once again held rum hot toddys since Fits In worries about the pack during the cold and flu season. Stinky Floss being health conscious made a valiant effort to empty the Thermi as a preventative and was last seen waving goodbye slung over Just Will’s shoulder. Adopt A Pussy and Backside Banger managed to arrive in time to put away some pints with out putting a foot on trail, they were so sad! Manhole and Man’s Best Hole arrived to both get the treats they like with Manhole preferring the more liquid variety. Speaking of liquid poor T made it back only to find the super toilets on lock down. 5150 saved T further misery by providing him with a package, a big one, of handy wipes that he stores in his car. One would be hard put to think of anything 5150 doesn’t store in his car. Missed Delivery arrived back and shook himself off tossing sweat hither and yon leading Banana In Public to complain that his jeans were getting wet. Jack The Ripper assumed the role of DFL and King Rongjon was returned by Uber to convene the Circle and wave the Sword Of Power while distributing down-downs that ended up being both Born Yesterday and hot toddys. Three out of the four cases went the way of all flesh and both the Thermi were emptied protecting the health of the pack. Cheers.