Run #508 WWGD

In a bid to breathe the rarified atmosphere of Brian Boitano and Jesus Christ Enter The Gerbil hared the first WWGD Trail, that’s What Would Gerbil Do for the non-cognoscenti, last Thursday. As the pack gathered at Bosworth and O’Shaughnessy there main thought was for the rain pissing down on them. Once again religion was eschewed this time in favor of the hare explaining just what WWGD meant. ETG explained that there were checks marked WWGD and in order to solve them the pack would have to ask the question What Would Gerbil Do then do it. The idea of a mind meld with ETG reduced Little Johnson to drooling and gibbering. Morning Missile assumed that ETG would simply head to the nearest bar and he maintained that position throughout the entire trail. Sadly no bars appeared and he was forced to decide what Gerbil would do when confronted with mud, thorns, and private property. As far as the pissing rain went, well it was Thursday so it stopped as soon as the pack was on-on. Trail led into Glen Canyon where the first check reduced the pack to mumbling and scratching. That check was eventually solved and the pack thrashed on to its first WWGD check. While most of the pack, lemming like, headed up hill, Morning Missile began his search for a bar. Splat exhibiting more knowledge of ETG than the pack cared to know sat in the mud and wanked. In their search for truth Likes To Lick and Just John stumbled on the on in trail and Tongueless and Fits In decided that was the way to go. While the rest of the pack eventually found itself on trail these stalwarts using the noses of Whippet In and Whippet Out trailed in reverse. Tongueless with his uncanny ability to fuck up even the most obvious trail led the minipack astray and they soon found themselves stuck on the hillside. Just Doesn’t Get It and Napoleon Bonerdog rescued the strays by following Tongueless’ cursing of Whippet Out and brought them back to the straight and narrow. Trail took the pack out on to Duncan and eventually into a condo complex where ETG insisted the pack exercise its right to trample on property rights by trampling on assorted lawns and through peoples’ yards. D’anglin Anglin carried Gerbil’s concept to its illogical conclusion when he found an open door and *an through a home stopping only to snag a turkey leg on the kitchen table. The stunned civilians are still wondering who that man with the tail was. Instead of a Hazmat roll out the SFPD was subjected to a number of hysterical “We’re under siege by loonies” calls. Trail thankfully took the pack back into Glen Canyon and away from searching peace officers. Once back in the canyon our hare chose to shed some of the pack’s blood by leading them into a blackberry ramble where legs were shredded by thorns. By the time he emerged Tongueless was covered in mud and blood. Bite Size took one look at the apparition and leaped whimpering into Drill Me’s arms, so much for her big bad dog reputation. Once the pack had congealed it was off to Chez Bigfoot and Gerbil for the circle and on-on. Bigfoot cooked up some lamb stew for the pack and some “vegetable” stew for the vegetarians, thankfully there were none. Chickless Boner was spotted rooting around in the vegetarian pot claiming that it smelled like one of his decaying lovers. A grinning Bigfoot refused to divulge her secret “vegetarian” ingredient (has anyone noticed that Pussy With a Porpoise hasn’t been around lately?). For some reason the thought of cannibalism seemed to stimulate Mr. Bone Jangles and he was soon deep in conversation with CB. Enough chairs were produced for the entire pack to be seated while Splat handled down-downs in the King’s absence. Fits In’s hot spiced wine from the Sacred Thermi went down easy and Goes Down Easy was soon offering to prove she lives by her name. Proving that he deserves his name Udder Moron completely ignored her offer. Sex was certainly a hot topic, how odd, once Bigfoot announced her bimbos only Sex Toy Party and brought out the catalogue. Phone Sex was so enthused that she volunteered to set pub crawl and demonstrate a different toy in each bar. Of course she made the offer just before she slumped out of her chair. Thumper braver than most actually inserted himself into the cat fight between Just Brandy and Just Laura over who could have the catalogue next and ended up reading it himself which the pack took as further proof of his latent lesbianism. Cheers,