Run #507 Pagans Prosper

Last Thursday was the 10^th Anal Winter Solstice Pagan Fest of the Gypsies and it was only fitting that those two paragons of paganism Scarlett O’Hairy and Rhett Butthole should be the hares. Rain pissed down all day Thursday but at 6:15 the Hashing Gods turned off the spigot as usual not wanting to rain on the parade of their favorites. True it will rain again someday on a Thursday but if Thumper is godly it may not be on his trail. At the hares’ request the pack gathered in the parking lot of the Sharpe Park Golf Course in Pacifica. True to her usual high standards Scarlett gave directions that would take the pack to many places but not the start so she and Phone Sex stood in the street directing Gypsies to the right place. Both she and Phone also collected the numbers of several civilians offering cash for a different kind of directions. The entire evening being devoted to the rites of paganism the reading from the Sacred Missal was eschewed in favor of an early start and a quick return to pagan pleasures. It didn’t take long for the hares to have the pack wallowing in mud and praying that the cliffs wouldn’t decide to erode under its feet. Having left Whippet In and Whippet Out home Tongueless had only himself to blame for sledding down the muddy slopes. Nutless Sac, Bigfoot, Just Brandy, and Goes Down Easy took the easy route and were still crisp and fashionable at the end, cowardice or common sense does have its good points. It was another night of Just Doesn’t Get It losing his bitch and this time it was to a shrub. Napoleon Bonerdog decided to go vegetarian on him preferring a bush to her man and leading JDGI a merry chase through the muck and mire. Drill Me thinking herself the wiser kept a firm grip on Bite Size’s leash but what seemed like a good idea went awry as Bite Size turned Drill Me into a boogie board. Still terrified from his last experience with Poison Oak Ben Gay was moving very slowly as he cringed at every bush making Bone Marrow stoop to examine any he suspected of being the noxious weed. Ever bizarre D’anglin Anglin was flaunting his so called resistance to PO by flogging his naked chest with Bone Marrow’s discards. Observing D’anglin Splat wryly noted that people like him were often given Thorazine. Meanwhile at the beer check Thumper was anxiously awaiting the arrival of his missus Latex Dreams who was busy avoiding the muck and mire at El Toro Loco and toasting the missing Thumper. Dyke Queen from the BeijingH3 had announced that it was LCB who made him cum and they were out so long that Rocky Mountain Oyster supposed he was doing it again. The trail finally led the pack back to the start where engines were started and the caravan moved on to El Toro Loco for eats and drinks. Just Doesn’t Get It almost got it for making a u-turn in front of a local law enforcer but was able to get a pass in exchange for his phone number. He can’t wait for Officer Poofter to call. Rhett Butthole underestimating his and Scarlett’s popularity had told Huevos Rancheros to cook for 12 and more than twice that showed up but he was still able to produce a seemingly endless line of burritos. Chickless Boner, had like a true hasher, completely avoided the trail and arrived for the cocktail hour. Fits In and Splat shared the spotlight with her Death By Eggnog and his hot buttered rum wreaking wreckage and ruin. It wasn’t long before Open Wide was feeling her holiday cheer and Likes To Lick was forced to once more pry her off of the cardboard caballero she so adores. Bigfoot handled the down-downs with her usual charm only once reducing Go Nad to tears. Speaking of tears, having fallen prey to both the nog and the hot buttered rum Manhole tearily and blearily announced that he and Otto were cuming out of the closet and *unning off together. Pied Piper catching the fever announced his engagement to Katie, won’t Cold Cuts be surprised…hmm, maybe not. Just Catherine hit the trail late but did the deed and arrived as the evening’s DFL. She entered as Just Catherine and left as 10 Cocks a Day. Ever the dreamer poor Motor Mount would have been happy if she’d just settle for one a day. When last seen he and Chickless Boner were comparing pick up lines, cool. Thumper tried desperately to interest the revelers in singing Hash Carols but the alcohol left the words on the page a tad unclear. Still the evening was a hasher’s favorite word FREE. Cheers.