Run #1362 The Closest the Gypsies Ever Come to Honor!

It was the 3^rd Thursday in May and that means the Palace of the Legion of Honor parking lot on El Camino Del Mar was the gathering place for the Gypsies to, as usual, kick off the Whine and Chowder Society’s anal Bay to Breakers fest. The regular scum of the Gypsies were joined by the flotsam and jetsam washed ashore from the trash heaps of Oregon, Boston, and Washington, the state. Even those habitués of the Burning Man cult of ego were represented by Rock Cock and Pissy Missy of Black Rock CityH3. Laugh if you will and you will, but remember that anything can be called a hash these days, may G forgive them their trespasses. BostonH3 sent E=I’m A Douche. Cuming Mutha pointed out that sending a Douche to the Gypsies was like sending coal to New Castle. Our hare for the evening was none other than “Saint” Titty Boo Boo who promised to give the pack a moment of true grace. The Cunt Next Door packing their soon to pop procreation came along to make sure he lived up to his promises and maybe to give the pack a real thrill. Rumor has it that Tongueless sharpened the Sword Of Power just in case there was an early arrival called for. In keeping with tradition there were two kegs of Lagunitas in case a second one was called for. Hand Pump once again generously provided the use of his jockey box for the evening and it was quickly hitched to that star, Lagunitas IPA. Normally this location is great for out-of-towners to have grand views of the Golden Gate and the bay but tonight the color of choice was grey on grey as the rain clouds piled on thicker and thicker. Fellowship Of The Cock Ring from BostonH3 was reminded of Middle Earth and as he prepared for the quest for flour and chalk. Then the rains came and the clouds emptied showing what the Hashing Gods thought of the assembled throng. RU Gay, a blast from the past, poured another pint and shrugged off the elements, wet on the outside as well as the inside. Ska Skank Redemption dressed in shark costume was spotted face down in a puddle trying to make her gills work. Poor Osama Bin Hashing thought she was wearing a burqa until he saw the air bubbles coming off the side of her head. For the Oregonians the rain meant nothing or as Shaft Impact Her, EugeneH3 laughed and said “We’ll just have a use for our webbed feet!” Speaking of the Oregonians, Bloody Nipple Triage, EugenehH3, assumed the role of priestess for the evening and provided a deeply moving religious moment from the Traveling Missal. Anal Bleaching, PhoenixH3 found the experience so moving that an extra bleach was going to be called for. Crapper Napper also PhoenixH3 was caught napping by the whole thing. Watching the likes of Hold Whorer, SW WashingtonH3, and assessing level of ability to overtake him “S”TBB announced that a 20-second head start should cover his needs and fled into the damp evening. “S”TBB left Tongueless to provide a chalktalk and Che Gayvara to take the blame for any problems the pack had on trail. Che Gayvara just blamed the chalktalk and it was done and dusted. By now the rain had stopped but a damp Can’t Eat Pussy decided that if he couldn’t eat he might as well do trail. Marks led the pack to the Battle of the Bulge trail leading up to the VA Hospital. Tuna On Top leashed to the mighty, as in mighty little, Just Hercules looked at the pack and asided that the “battle of the bulge” was a perfect trail for this pack. Adopt A Pussy was climbing towards the top and mumbling that AA might not be such a bad idea after all. Fits In advised him to wait for the Sacred Bucket before he spouted such apostasy. Dick Ass Mother Fucker shook his head in awe as Geordie Le Foreskin rolled it back to keep from tripping and thought seriously about organizing a “Foreskin Off” with Tongueless’ Penis going, um, head to head with Geordie! Trail took the pack through the labyrinthine buildings of the VA complex and eventually out at 42^nd Ave. and into the Richmond. As the chance for PO diminished Bitches Bitch wept with joy. Lois Lame was also weeping with joy that she wouldn’t have to put up with BB’s whining about PO. One Night Only was back from her million mile *un on the Isle of Wight and mumbling through the damp air that she felt like she was still there. Trail took the pack back into the woods around Fort Miley and around the Palace where our hare sent the pack past the start and back down to the Lands End Trail and it’s Eagle’s Point overlook where, thanks to the weather, there was nothing to look over. Trail turned there to bring the pack back to the start and the alcohol so devoutly wished for. The table was laid with Vitamin J and the Sacred Bucket filled with River Madness. Horny Hands, Philly-HockessinH3 found the Sacred Bucket was making those hands way less horny and that head way harder to hold up. Speaking of the Sacred Bucket and it’s contents On All 4s continued her ongoing love affair with River Madness and it’s ability to turn any glasses rose colored. As the evening progressed and the keg grew lighter, Tri Crapalete painted and ever rosier picture of the trail that “S”TBB took to be proof that he hadn’t done that much of it. Dr. Kimble looked over the group and knew in his heart of hearts that ERs would be full this weekend. Cockulus Occulus toasted the pack as the cheapest entertainment in SF even when the 5-0 don’t show up. Scarlette O’Hairy, newly employed, pointed out that she has to be in the office once a week so she chose Thursday giving her an excuse to be with the Gypsies on her way home. Just Doesn’t Get It was busy drying his pits and thumping his tummy in a show of manliness that had Do Her Well turning back to the Bucket again and again. Speaking of DHW, Tongueless offered her the Circle and she hemmed and hawed until he tossed in control of the Sword Of Power when her eyes glowed with a radioactive fire and she took up the Sword dominating the pack with her fury. Wielding authority she dispensed down-downs like water and let the pack sing itself hoarse while covering the entire blade with emptied cups. Manhole administered the coup to the keg and Mans Best Hole got all four legs into the driver’s seat of the Mercedes. BostonH3’s Wikipedophilia scribbled away preparing a new Wicki page. Another evening well wasted and well wasted. Cheers.