Run #1363 Looting and Burning!

If anyone doubted the saying that Gypsies’ war parties come in all sizes they just needed to be in Mill Valley last week to have their doubts dispelled. Lois Lame and Bitches Bitch led the pack in its looting and burning romp though the Land of Money and MILFS. The thugs came together in the parking lot; such as there is, at the Tennessee Valley Community Center on Tennessee Valley Road. Lois checked and there wasn’t supposed to be any other events taking place so of course the lot was filled with the cars of people there for the nonexistent event. There was a steady stream of men going into the building and Bitches Bitch followed after them to find out whom the Gypsies were going to be annoying. It was a men’s group for a regular meeting. Pied Piper, noting how quiet the pack planned to be, asked if they minded if the pack used the picnic table in the back for afterward and they said they’d be out by 9:00, uh huh, sure. While PP and BB were busy lying through their teeth the rest of the pack was putting down pints of Lagunitas IPA. By the time the religious service was held with Pied Piper doing the reading the pack had grown to 8. This included One Night Only who had dared the Golden Gate Bridge to get some time in on what she hoped would involve hill climbing. Actually the most daring thing ONO did was walk into that boys’ club meeting. Slicker ‘N Snot showed up to act as PP’s sous chef since the pack had been promised the Sacred Grill would be present and PP would be slaving away to get those venison patties grilled. In keeping with the pack size and the desire to get on trail so they could get back and chow down the reading from the Male Missal was short and pointed. The point was well taken by the gents in the meeting who overheard the reading and felt not an iota of kinship with the Gypsies. On that note the pack was off with Lois Lame waiting to wave as them when the circle jerk brought them back past her on the other side of the creek. Our hare took pity on the Lost Patrol consisting of Tongueless, Fits In, Tongue Depressor, Qaeda Cunt and Slicker ‘N Snot who cast his lot the often-wrong T by sending them off along the water in the opposite direction. True trail crossed a bridge and took the pack through the Tamalpais Valley Community Center; what an abundance of community. Next up was the Tamalpais Valley Elementary School where a map of the US had been painted in full color and chalk was available to mark the states people had lived in. Part of the reason the main pack was so delayed was all the time it took Dr. Kimble to mark the states he’d had to flee under a dark cloud; had it been a world map ONO would have had him beat…probably. Marks led out of the school and up the hillside. Something spooked Tongue Depressor and she made it crystal clear that she was not going up that fucking hill. Looking up and being able to gauge where trail went the humans were not loath to accept TD’s leadership. Those without TD’s good sense ended up on the Miwok Trail where they were treated to great views and a chance to sweat. Eventually trail found its way back to concrete and helicopter parents hauled their precious tykes inside, as the Gypsies thundered past, um, lumbered might actually be more descriptive. Trail took the pack through Kay Park and down Robin Road before crossing and re-crossing the creek again at Flamingo Rd. It was a romp down Marin Ave and Tennessee Valley Rd. back to the start where the 8 great were reunited. The meeting was still going on but Fits In moved the Outbeer closer and that man among men BB hauled the keg over a fence and behind the log cabin. With the keg tapped it was time to cool down, um, except for Tongueless’ Penis who took to his car to run the heat and warm up. T was glad he did that since he has no desire for TP to show any shrinkage. The picnic table was awash in Vitamin J and all the fixings to go on those venison burgers, hot dogs, or Boca Burgers. The Sacred Bucket was filled with River Madness and as the good times rolled the group inside took one look at the group outside and decided that discretion truly is the better part of valor. Poor ONO fled back to the city the victim of an early meeting and no desire to play Frogger with the CHP, her place was taken by the very late arriving Peteophile and Scarlette O’Hairy who more than took care of ONO’s share of everything. The Circle was eschewed in favor of continued pillaging of the keg and Bucket while cramming food in to their gaping maws. A small war party can do as much damage, or more, than a big one they just have to try harder and that’s what Gypsies always do. Cheers