Run #1369 A 69 on the 4^th is Fine!

Never ones to pass up the chance to throw a party Peteophile and Scarlette O’Hairy did just that for the Gypsies on July 4^th and threw in a trail to boot! You might say it was a salute to the red, white, and blew! The party hardy pair tossed their home in San Anselmo or San Rafael, take your pick, open wide and the denizens of debauchery took them up on the offer. The Outbeer carrying a keg of Lagunitas Little Sumpin Sumpin was basically carrying “coal to Newcastle” as the fridge in P and SOH’s garage holds a supply of every beer known to man and the rest of the house is a wine rack waiting to be cracked. Just Travis made sure that no champers was drunk before it’s time but it’s time turned out to be all the time. Just Hannah the offspring of Peteophile and a prior error in judgment proved beyond the shadow a doubt that Rosè goes with anything including guacamole. Just Travis who has staked out a role the reader of the sermon par excellence at the trails of the dynamic duo had to drown his sadness in mimosas as LCB, a returning hasher, preached a meaningful sermon that was less meaningful to Just Poco and Just Goggles his pooches. Apparently the four legged Justs, Archie of Pencil Dick’s family, Just Francis and Just GG of Early To Bed and Blowing Zydeco have never learned that “put your log in a dog boys” is hashing old hat. Pencil Dick claims it’s the memsahib who wants to keep Just Archie safe for the grandkids and yet she took him on the death march Peteophile had laid on his, ahem, electric bike. The pack was still laughing and smiling as they set off, little did they suspect. The Cunt Next Door was all set to do trail with Just Rosalie strapped to her chest. Just Rosalie in true Gypsies’ fashion preferred snoozing to tromping putting the kibosh on TCND’s good intentions. “Saint” Titty Boo Boo set off to uphold the family honor and try to set off some fireworks of his own. Pied Piper was there long enough to drink the available alcohol but when it came to doing trail he realized he was in a valley with nowhere to go but up and off he went to cook his own family barbque. Trail had plenty of ups and down but more ups, easy to set when you’re on an ebike. Trail was well marked, sadly no excuses, and took the pack on a tour of the neighborhood. As Tongueless, Fits In and King Rongjon were heading down the mean streets Hand Pump pulled up leapt out of his car and shuffled off on trail hoping to make this one blood free. Speaking of the Lost Patrol they were actually on trail until trail became trail and then the Cemetery Fire Road. The name alone was a smidge too ominous in it’s own right. Coming off the hill they made their way back to the United Market where King RJ purchased a 22 ouncer of Stone Brewing Arrogant Bastard, a beer he insists was named after T, who btw he got to pay for it. Meanwhile on the hill “S”TBB was seeking reassurance from the king of Poison Oak himself, Bitches Bitch that there was no PO. Oddly enough he was concerned that should he somehow spread PO to Just Rosalie, TCND would make his death swift but painful. Eventually the trail did descend and the pack was back in the yard with Cuming Mutha looking as though he’d gone in the hot tub with his shirt on, can you say sweaty fucking trail! Peteophile took up his grilling gear and set himself to sweating over the hot grill producing enough hamburgers and hot dogs to feed the city of San Rafael. Meanwhile Scarlette had laid a table of salads and cookies, Scarlette never forgets the importance of a sugar rush, along with fruit etc. The garage held the Vitamin J. King Rongjon was lying half naked on a chaise broiling in the sun and One Night Only was thanking the Hash Gods that he wasn’t full monty. Goes Down Easy came across a color palette and soon those lovers of gambling were betting on which shade of red the King would eventually turn. The Sword Of Power was produced and the King convened the Circle where down-downs consisted of Fits In’s minted Mai-Tais from the Sacred Bucket, as if any more alcohol was called for. The King described the trail as, “long and hard, much like my penis” when a voice from on high wafted over him, but not as long or hard as Tongueless’ Penis. Happily On All 4s had her hiking poles so the King was able to maintain an upright position AND he managed to not cut off any appendages of the evildoers or put a pole through any feet. Lois Lame, obsessed with naming any and all humans was desperate to provide a name for Just Rosalie but the pack was, hard to believe, just not drunk enough. The Gypsies’ 4^th gave whole new meaning to “Birth of a Nation”. Cheers.