Run #1386 Oh the Horrors!
Thursday last was All Hallows
Eve perfect for the Gypsies’
26th
Anal Halloween Pub Crawl.
Tongueless that
mindless lapdog was perfect as a Labradoodle and Bitch
Pimp who earned her
medal of courage as the Cowardly Lion hared the trail and live…or
as live as T
ever is. BP
definitely earned her medal by putting up with T
the perpetual whine
machine. Where better to gather the pack than the Hell Mouth, more
commonly known as Front and Union. E=MCFucked
was a green haired witch and by evening’s end he was green to the
gills. BP made
sure the pack had plenty of bottles of Lagunitas
Hazy IPA to start
their engines. Cream
Chugger was the
epitome of hash legend with those “horns upon her head” and
brought Just Andrew
who was in SF from Iowa. Who knew that CC
is thinking about the Iowa caucuses and JA
is testing the Iowa waters for her, wow! Speaking of music Just
Pat was hoping she
wouldn’t end up as a “Smashing Pumpkin” over the course of the
evening. Speaking of politics Who’s
Your Daddy was
dressed as the official Gypsies’
position on healthcare, a nurse in a very short skirt. The hares were
away leaving the pack in the good hands of Fits
In who as Carmen
was suitably operatic. While our hares were marking trail to the
first pub, Pier 23 the pack was being brought to tears by Just
Andrew’s moving
sermon from the Male
Missal. CSI who was
a “fly” on the wall, no disrespect to Jeff Goldblum, reported the
pack’s response when she caught up at Pier 23. It was perfect that
there was a contest for best costume on a dog but BP
was not allowed to enter T.
Once the pack was established and drinks were in hand it was “hares
away”. The pack in the meantime was dancing their brains out thanks
to the live music. While the pack was working up a sweat on the dance
floor our hares were doing the same climbing the Filbert steps up
past to Grant St. BP
decided to incentivize T
by telling him if he fell she had no intention of carrying him. Of
course they wanted to make it harder for the pack so they tossed in a
backcheck that had Blow
Queen, who may or
may not have been a vulture in costume< wishing them to be
carrion. Tears Of
Semen had took a
kindlier gentler attitude befitting her animal exterior and only wish
the hares to suffer minor sprains. Our hares laid trail over the hill
and far away to the Church Key on Grant. Unfortunately T
had told FI
that pub 2 was The Saloon, oops! The Church Key finally filled with
the pack and FI
kicked T
in the crotch, which of course at his age means nothing was touched.
Twinkle Dick
was the FRB thanks to his lightweight costume Basset Hounds are
lightweight; luckily he didn’t trip over his ears. HerAssic
Park looking fine
in her pearls and little black dress had danced herself out and sore
footed it into the night. 5150
dressed as the worlds least effective pimp, think subdued gaudy,
couldn’t recruit her into his stable and he’s her father! Missed
Delivery arrived at
this point and with his hair that green and the alcohol flowing Fits
In wondered if MD
was a Granny Smith Apple. All were pleased when he vowed to keep his
face off the concrete for a change. The hares were away and BP
suffering from OCD actually laid a trail with a check just to go down
the street to Tupelo. Tupelo was where Just
Jeff, BP’s
significant other was waiting sometimes it pays to carry your cell if
you want to avoid an angry SO. Tupelo was overcrowded and loud but
then again it was serving alcohol so…. While the pack listened to
the music the hares were off to Spec’s. Spec’s is old San
Francisco and welcomed the pack and it’s money. Hell, Spec’s even
provided some cheese off a huge wheel of Gouda. Pied
Piper chose this
point to arrive and immediately fell in love with the massive cheese
cutter. PP
has a penchant for giving his heart to sharp objects, look at Cold
Cuts. Chickenboner
and WYD
had made a side jaunt to Kennedy’s Irish Pub and Curry House this
being their last night in business and they gave the place a “meh”
for being jammed and not being able to get a drink, no such problem
existed here. The hares were soon away to the Gypsies’s
home away from home, the closed and now reopened, Bamboo Hut a bar of
Gypsies
legend. That Witchy woman, Phone
Sex cast her spell
over the crowd or it might have been that Volcano Bowl 5150
ordered. King
Rongjon, that
manliest of men, was properly accoutered as a commando complete with
at jaunty beret. RJ
and Fits In
took command of a corner of the bar and held off all cumers. Once
umbrella coifed boat drinks began flowing E=MCFucked
pointed out that if the Evil Queen of legend had looked like
Chickenboner
Snow White would have been toast. Cockulus
Oculus skunked the
dance floor and Missed
Delivery found
himself with white stripe fever. T
and FI hared
it back to the start and the Sacred
Bucket was filled
with FI’s
newly invented Caribbean Commie, at this point overkill. The pubcrawl
had turned into an evening of only the strong survive and that didn’t
include the King.
Bitches Bitch
and Lois Lame
were still going strong with BB
in his pink unicorn suit and LL
as a slender, early, Janis Joplin. CSI
gifted the pack with a jar of Ghost Pepper Cheese Spread that LL
swallowed leaving her looking more like Janis when they found the
body. More appealing were CSI’s
flaming hot Cheetos and can of Cheeze Whiz spray, no one can accuse
the Gypsies
of lacking gourmet tastes. T
took up the Sword Of
Power and convened
the Circle. He had a special focus on LL
who offended him by suggesting he not wear a hat in Circle. Cockulus
Oculus pointed out
to BB
that real unicorns don’t scream “Off with her head” as loud as
they can at 11:30 at night. The pack did rescue Just
Amy, a civilian who
had worked way to late, and brought her into the Circle to drink from
the Bucket. She was a very happy camper as she staggered off.
Sometimes it’s just one of those nights and this was one of them.
Cheers.