Run #1385 Um, Just How Many Ways Can I Fuck Up A Trail?
Leave
it to Do Her Well to ask herself the tough questions, the ones
a scion of science would ask. DHW laid the trail for the
Gypsies last week and she promised to fuck up in at least 5
ways just to see how hard it is to create an angry mob! Our hare
started by picking 9th Ave. and MLK, Jr. Dr. in Golden
Gate Park as a start; a notoriously hard spot to find parking. The
Hashing Gods did not smile on this plan and instead Fits In
was able to pilot the Outbeer around the corner onto MLK, Jr.
and glide straight into a Chickenboner sized parking spot,
YES! Our hare arrived with Just Doesn’t Get It in tow, she
now takes away his car key so he can’t leave while she’s laying
trail, and cursed the Hashing Gods for all the parking that was
available. Even One Night Only threw caution to the wind
keeping the bubble wrap off the Mercedes. A chagrined DHW pounded a
pint and set off like the grim Reaper to lay the trail live. Sleazy
Like Sunday Whoring a Whine & Chowder harriette unfamiliar
with the ways of the Gypsies wondered aloud what the hare was
going to do with all those sharpened stakes? Che Gayvara put
her mind at rest by explaining DHW would be setting up tiger
traps to keep the pack safe in the dark park. After a few pints of
the Lagunitas IPA she took that as an acceptable
answer. Since our hare threatened to treat the pack like the animals
they are it’s only fitting that there were so many four legged pack
members there to enjoy the dark park. Manhole had not only
Mans Best Hole but also Just Louie to raise a ruckus,
Pencil Dick was the with Just Arlo and JA was
raring to go. To complete the animal pack Tongue Depressor and
Qaeda Cunt were busy organizing the snouts into a raccoon
attack battalion just in case. Knowing what the hare had planned Hand
Pump was busy shaking hands and saying goodbye to the pack just
in case; he’s a real gent. SLSW provided the pack with a
religious moment from the Sacred Missal 2.0, sadly it was a
tad hard to hear her over the wailing of the terrified pack members
like Twinkle Dick and Udder Moron who is still nursing
his leg. Of course their wailing was nothing in comparison to the
flood tide of tears Tongueless was shedding. Before he could
wash away any marks the pack was off. After a smidge of headless
chickening trail led the pack deep into the bowels of the park before
crossing Nancy Pelosi Dr. and performing a circle jerk in the woods.
This is about the time Backside Banger chose to show up but
not finding Adopt A Pussy he went back to look for him or at
least his remains. Our hare took the pack on a tour of the finer
points of the park leading Who’s Your Daddy to wish she’d
fallen on one her “finer points”, for such a hot blood he can be
so cold! Trail lumbered through the Music Concourse and around the
Giuseppe Verdi statue and east Stowe Lake. Somewhere around this
point all the lost, well some of them, came together from the various
spots they were lost and Dr. Kimble, a born leader, declared,
“Fuck it, I’m going back and drink, who’s with me!” CSI
and Closet Twitcher raised their voices in a hearty “Huzzah”
and the band of survivors returned to the start. As they approached
the start there was Deadbeat changing into *unning gear and
averring that HE would beat our hare into the dirt with his speed and
cunning. On All 4s sotto voce wondered that he thought
Deadbeat had either one. Eat My Pussy was also a late
cumer and set off to joust with our hare. “Saint” Titty Boo
Boo was the first of the intrepid to return and he immediately
poured himself an extra large Yellow Peril from the Sacred Bucket.
Our hare had promised backchecks and she kept her promise. Cuming
Mutha finally decided he’d had enough when he came to backcheck
#64. Cock A Mole decided to show up and brought Just Jasper
to add to the dogpack. Suffice it to say that the raccoons kept their
distance as did any sane civilians. 5150 also chose to arrive
in time to avoid the trail but not the keg, Bucket or Vitamin J.
Bitches Bitch and Lois Lame were roundly criticized for
pointing out that had cum upon 2 civilians making the two backed
beast on the bleachers but hadn’t bother to film any of it. The
pack ate and drank contentedly with only an occasional wondering
about the missing Hand Pump, Jack The Ripper and Bitch
Pimp. Veritable hours passed and finally they were sighted in the
distance. Bitch Pimp abjured that she probably shouldn’t
have followed HP and JTR after the first 2 hours. Hand
Pump normally the gentlest of souls announced to all within
hearing that DHW should “get fucked by a porcupine!” DHW’s
face lit up, at last here was proof of her success! T convened
a Circle and Sword Of Power in hand distributed the down-downs
before the pack dragged itself off to rest and enjoy their hangovers.
Cheers,