Run #1557 The Ups and Downs of a Moron! 

Udder Moron kicked June to the curb for the Gypsies by laying the last trail of the month from Rossi and Anza with the Rossi Playground as the backdrop. Amazingly there was an abundance of parking, well, at least till the Gypsies arrived. The Outbeer slid into place, the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder was tapped, and the piss pounding begun! The first to arrive was a visitor from the BergenH3 in Norway, Horse Pegasus. It soon became apparent to him that the published start time of 6:15 is, like so much else, a figment of the imagination. Across the street there was the usual drawing of shades. SF has been going through a heat wave where the temps might actually reach the low 60s but tonight there was the typical summer weather including its wind and fog, so hypothermia was more likely than hyperthermia. On the other hand, On All 4s arrived sporting a super pair of shades, cataract surgery pays no attention to the sun or lack thereof. HP wasn’t the only foreign devil as Pied Piper brought his son-in-law Just Mutz from Austria. Piper is always willing to suck up for free travel. Once again, the pack could hardly contain its concern when 5150 arrived in time for the start. Dr. Kimble shook his head and whispered, “Two in a row, something is out of whack in the Universe!” As if 5150 wasn’t omen enough, up strode Che Gayvara, hardly a common sight at the Gypsies and yet he is the hare for the first trail in July! Clearly the pack was in much need of religion and our Norwegian visitor, HP took up the Male Missal and preached a sermon that required no translation! Our hare was long since gone setting a live trail and Tongueless took it upon himself to give the visitors a chalktalk, since there was no chalk to show them the marks T’s talk was useless as he is in general. The pack headed off down Rossi and crossed at Lone Mountain Terrace. That name should have given the pack an idea of what was in store. Jack The Ripper kissed the wall at the American Longevity Alliance and prayed they keep him young! Trail flew up Beaumont Ave and across Geary. Trail took the pack to Laurel and down Wood St.  Then past the Pig and Whistle on Masonic. It was at this point that the hare began taking them up long flights of stairs and back down long flights of stairs. When the Pastel Gazelle looked up a long set of stairs on Anza the Lost Patrol wished his sweaty self well and went straight. Eventually the pack was reunited at the start and much to UM’s pleasure the whining about all those stairs started. Of course they were only whining when they weren’t stuffing their mouths with Vitamin J. Adopt A Pussy could smell a lawsuit and was busy handing his card to the loudest whiners. Closet Twitcher suggested that a bicycle chain would serve admirably as a rope. Adding insult to injury the Sacred Bucket had Yellow Peril on a freezing night, not that anyone complained. PH admitted to the hills in SF being worse than in Bergen but the alcohol took off the edge. Cuming Mutha was able to engineer a trading of shirts but the one he got was no drier than the one he gave! Twinkle Dick actually bought a Gypsies shirt from long ago but at least it was warm. Manhole, when he eventually appeared declared the trail the best one he’d *un all day, then he continued to imbibe. Bitch Pimp arrived with Just Charlie wearing his muzzle, in his case a badge of honor, no one trammels with Just Charlie’s Pimp! Hilarity ensued when Wash This Asshole found out why Just Charlie is muzzled. JC received a lot of treats from his Pimp for that one. Fits In poured down-downs from the Bucket and T waved the Sword Of Power convening the Circle.

Daffy Fuck was brought up for the crime if wearing tights so colorful that she caused a 4 car pileup. Just Fuck Off was overheard bargaining with DF for the tights as a gift to PG, as if he isn’t colorful enough! Cheese Turd strolled in and alluded to actually having been on trail, at least the part that went past his house. Horse Pegasus entertained the pack with a song of Norway. Growlers killed the keg and the pack drifted off through the mist in search of warmth! Cheers,