Run #1558 WAY Old Enough to Know Better! 

Che Gayvara returned to his comrades to set a trail for the Gypsies last week. He called the pack to order in the parking lot behind the Senior Center in Golden Gate Park off of Fulton. With the age range of the Gypsies skewing into Methuselah territory it was a fitting choice. The evening’s tone could be taken from Jack The Ripper turning 82, proving he’s still crazy after all these years. The keg of Lagunitas IPA, and Pied Piper was tapping it before the back of the Outbeer was even fully up, not of course, that he was in a hurry to get his mouth on the brew! It’s true that not everyone in the pack has one foot in the grave and one on a banana peel, just look at Missed Delivery who puts the “r” in “ripped.” Some people just don’t learn from experience and the proof was there in the form of Horse Pegasus from BergenH3 back for another round of piss pounding and climbing absurd hills! Speaking of Missed Delivery and ripped, MD delivered on a sermon from the Male Missal that had Closet Twitcher twitching like he’d shoved his finger into a socket and not a hole! Okay, a good deal of the keg had passed over Adopt A Pussy’s lips but Cuming Mutha and On All 4s were momentarily taken aback when AAP slurrily asked if the Male Missal accurately portrayed life in Oz. CM, straight faced, replied only for those named Brent and Rusty! On that note the pack was sent off to search for the hare who was out tossing flour! His hatred for the imperialist *unning dog beer drinkers was apparent from the start as trail plunged into the woods.  There was some respite as it crossed 36^th Ave. but that was short lived. Trail took the pack around Spreckels Lake and deeper into the woods. The Lost Patrol, what there was of it, was under the able leadership of On All 4s. When trail climbed above JFK, Dr. OA4s stood like a colossus as Tongueless, who can barely stand upright in the best of conditions, wallowed through the undergrowth using everything but his teeth to inch forward. The only saving grace was Fits In behind T applying that cattle prod. Wash This Asshole insists that it was the screams that kept him on trail. Trail crossed JFK Dr. and oddly enough plunged back into the woods. Our hare was good about putting down his marks wanting to give the pack no reason to abandon the abuse they were “enjoying”.  Trail headed towards Transverse Dr. then, as you’ve probably already guessed turned back into the woods. At this point trail went through the Little Forest Explorers part of Marx Meadow. Dr. Kimble wondered aloud at why Who’s Your Daddy was busily taking pictures. Pastel Gazelle looked away and simply said, “We don’t want to know!”  The LP, well, T, was lucky to not slip in all the Goose shit around Spreckels Lake and celebrated by dropping back into the woods to return to the Senior Center parking lot. Eventually all the miscreants were back, and the keg was tapped. The Cloak Of Invisibility was dropped into place and the top laden with Vitamin J that began instantly disappearing. The Sacred Thermi were full of Fits In’s certified rum hot toddies and the usual bacchanal began. 5150 chose this point to step out of the woods as though he’d trodden trail, no one was fooled. Pied Piper whipped out the Sacred Grill and began grilling enough hot dogs to provide for the entire Mongol Horde. The hood of PP’s car looked like the condiment aisle at well-equipped supermarket. Out of the night Cheese Turd appeared as he is wont, eschewing the actual physical part of the evening in favor of the imbibing and eating part of the evening. Hand Pump ever looking at the best side mentioned that elbow bending and swallowing are physical and he’s right. FI poured down downs for the too lazy to get the Sword Of Power T who instead led the circle wielding a barbeque fork. Our hare received a down-down for another trail that laid bare the cruelty of capitalism. Horse Pegasus was down-downed for returning after his last experience and in defense disavowed being a glutton for punishment since he was going back to Bergen the next day. The penultimate down-down went to Jack The Ripper for being at the Gypsies on his 82^nd Birthday! The keg died a courageous death and no hot toddies went home. Cheers.