Run #1570 He’s Not Exactly the Lone Ranger! 

With a cloud of dust and a mighty, “Tap the fucking keg!” Pied Piper gathered that intrepid band of horse thieves the Gypsies in Mill Valley at the Horse Hill Preserve at the end of Lomita Dr. The cowpunchers, well not till they’d had a few, started to arrive and take over the parking. The Preserve is next to a well-traveled bike path and Prefers Horses insists she had nothing to do with the crash. Hey, she was in the paddock with the horses checking out how they, um, measured up! The Ben Franklin MobH3 sent the Gypsies Fort Dixalot and he stood at attention as he tapped a few pints from the keg of Lagunitas Little Sumpin Sumpin. While the pack was gathering, the horses in the paddock were paying more attention to the Gypsies than the Gypsies, well, most of them, were paying to the horses. The few, the proud. as in Tuna On Top and Hand Pump had ventured out of SF to join PP’s wild west extravaganza. The Perfect Woman even ventured down from Seattle to play a cowboy! Backside Banger was drawn by the scent of alcohol wafting down to the city and promising him a cheap drunk, who could resist that just because of traffic and he came by bus anyway! Knowing that the sun would soon begin sinking PP began fidgeting over any deaths in the dark, so Fort Dixalot stepped forward to provide a soul cleansing sermon from the Male Missal! As the sermon ended PP pointed to the hillside across the paddock and asked that please no one either cum cascading off a cliff or get trampled. The pack took off with a thundering of shoes. Suddenly Lois Lame appeared, PP pointed up and with a clattering of her walking sticks LL headed toward the skyline! PP along with Tongueless and Fits In constituted the Lost Patrol although since the hare was there it was hardly “Lost”! Trail crossed through the horse paddock and took off uphill, what a surprise. The first actual surprise was the rider coming around a corner and trotting downhill. She mentioned that the LP would have to get out of her way so the intrepid trio moved to the edge of the trail and she was able to pass with of whiff of horse entering their nostrils. Trial kept climbing towards the setting sun. PP laughingly mentioned that if the pack eagled he hoped they were carrying tents! Trail reached the crest and PP allowed that the LP would only be in the redwood forest relying on headlamps for a short time, and oh yeah, try not to trip over the tangled roots or stumble on the ONE steep bit. FI made it down that bit and watched T hurtle towards her, but she held on to foliage and stopped him. Eventually the bottom as reached and even a road that was paved and with marks leading back to the start. Most of the pack was back and the keg reappeared to be tapped and covered by the Cloak Of Invisibility! Said Cloak was covered with Vitamin J and Sacred Thermi holding coffee, Dr. Kimble was thrilled, to be consumed with the Irish Cream and Kahlua from the bottles standing beside them. 5150 stepped out of the night insisting he’d done trail or a portion thereof. The snickering from Wash This Asshole hurt 5150’s feelings, assuming he has any! Hose Blower admitted to getting lost and his survival was a sign that he needed to keep drinking! As the sky darkened T convened the Circle and slashed the air with the Sword Of Power. Tinker Tailor Soldier Wanker from MarinH3 had the perfect solution, he knelt in his car with the door closed. LL and HP arrived back together and both claimed to be DFL. HP got the honor since LL had tried to trip him with one of her sticks. That would have been perfectly allowable had she not done it in front of TPW and TOT who are sticklers for rules. When it was growler time, No Blow Ho whipped out the fanciest growler ever seen, it even had a CO2 cartridge! It holds 128 ounces, but she didn’t fill it. WTA asked to marry her but she is wed to TTSW. 5150 offered to break off his engagement if she would only get divorced! Once again, the Gypsies showed how important family values are. When the alcohol waned, the buckaroos rode off into the night, to live and drink another Thursday! Cheers.