Run #1573 You Can’t Control a Gazelle 

Pastel Gazelle, charming devil that he is offered to lay a trial for the Gypsies and from the Log Cabin in the Presidio no less, really, does it get any better than that! There not being an event at the Log Cabin would actually have been better but there was plenty of parking by the baseball diamond and the Outbeer was soon dispensing Lagunitas Beast of Both Worlds at a mere 8% ABV had the pack not worrying about parking. No sooner was the keg tapped that the line formed up behind the Outbeer. Backside Banger and Adopt A Pussy managed the line by managing to be at its head and stay there! Not that anyone was concerned about how long or insane the trail might be but as the pack arrived Just Fuck Off met each one and swore that the only part of the trail she had anything to do with was the start and not much of that! Showing good planning Tri Crapelete and Wet And Sloppy arrived on foot. No sooner did Udder Moron wheel his motorcycle into a parking slot than Wash This Asshole started making book on whether and/or how far he’d get back once the keg and Bucket had taken over steering! The Gypsies were graced by Dick First, Ass Up from EastbayH3. For some unknown reason he’d taken a dip in the bay and was desperately trying to dry off and warm up, or so he told Chickenboner! Just Mike was there having heard about the Gypsies from the Whine and Chowder Society and if you Google “deer in the headlights” you’ll see his picture. JM was thrilled to find the Gypsies were a hash of faith and was more than happy to provide a religious experience to the pack. Male Missal clutched firmly in his hand; his sermon won him more than a few hosanas! On that note our hare sent the pack off into the dusk to gain a sense of how his mind works, scary! Trail left the parking area and turned on to Ralston Ave. It was easy to see that it was the Gypsies since almost the entire pack was Lost Patrol limpers who were, well, lost. Tongueless was so lost that he managed to lose Fits In and any semblance of self-control.  AAP saved the day finding the trial across Lincoln Blvd. Trail took those who followed it through the bunkers overlooking the bay. BB was happy that he had not had that one more pint as he staggered where few dared follow. Trail eventually took the under the Golden Gate Bridge and Through the Welcome Center that oddly enough didn’t seem to be welcoming Dr. Kimble or Who’s Your Daddy! Trail had the pack on the Battery East Trail and back to Lincoln Blvd. Trail went under the 101 Freeway and WYD made his usual pilgrimage to the Pet Cemetery although he would have preferred passing Fort Point Brewing! The LP, meaning everyone but the hale and hearty, crossed back under the freeway at Veterans Blvd. and stayed on Storey Ave. as it climbed to Wagner Rd. and past Battery Wagner. This brought the sweating part of the evening to the back of the parking area and set up shop. The keg was bedecked with the Cloak Of Invisibility and festooned with Vitamin J and a Sacred Bucket filled with Fits In’s take on Sex on the Beach. The beach reference seemed to please DF,AU. As was to be expected Cheese Turd wandered in with a bogus claim about trail and a beastly thirst that the keg was able to accommodate. Five Angry Inches had bike trouble so he took to the trail late but that made no difference to how long it took him. Udder Moron swears 5AI has motorized *unning shoes. The pack settled into its usual alcoholic daze so T decided to convene the Circle and administer down-downs. The sudden appearance of the Sword Of Power produced the usual gasps of fear at giving a double-edged weapon to a sadistic incompetent. Fits In didn’t help by pouring the down-downs from the Bucket. Hand Pump, always erring on the sunny side, allowed that at least the down-downs would help manage the pain! Pastel Gazelle was brought up and the pack chanted for all the hares to be punished so JFO stood beside him, still swearing she knew nothing. The pack, of course, has no qualms about railroading someone! When DF, AU and Just Mike were called to the Circle they chose to entertain the pack with a pair of jokes. JFO was so insulted by the quality of their wit that she stepped back into the limelight and whipped off a joke that left the two lads dead in the water. There was nothing left but to continue drinking, so they did. Cheers.