"It's just the Hellmouth," Joe Pubic Hare said helpfully. Prickly Bush looked at him intently. "All will be back to normal by tomorrow at the latest, promise." 

 

"Surely we can do something for Mr. Simmons, here, sir?" Dick Simmons asked hopefully. "It's such an honor, truly."

 

"No reason he can't join us," Hand Pump nodded. "Couldn't have asked for a better day for it."

 

"Are there days here?" Cockamole looked around.

 

"Why not?" Hand Pump replied, closing the door on the kegs, which were dutifully multiplying.

 

"Does Mr. Simmons need a chalk talk?" asked Muff Daddy.

 

The figure before them shimmered, then pulsed with purples, blues, and a hazy glittery sheen before curling up and diving into Humpy Slowcum's mouth.

 

"No need!" Humpy laughed. "Now let's get some beats going!"

 

In the background, drums began thumping. Jack the Ripper started tapping his foot in time, while Ocean Spray and Motormount clapped to the rhythm.

 

"Callin out around SF, are you ready for a brand new beat?" Humpy sang as they ran down the block, jogging to the rhythm. 

 

"Summer's here and the time is right, for hashing in the street!" They fanned out at the first check, Boner Marrow running up one set of stairs and Five Angry Inches running up another.

 

"I know you all got this!" Humpy, filled with the spirit, cheered them on. They dashed upwards and onwards, Blowfish following Circle Jerk and Fuck Buddy. Hoseblower stopped for a few seconds to smell the roses.

 

"Oof!" Humpy cried, as the spirit left him for better pastures in Sheepy.

 

"All we need is flour, sweet flour, and pack marks everywhere!" Sheepy called them on as they reached Coit Tower.

 

Sir Menage a Lot dashed down the hill, followed by Damien the Antichrist and Sexxx-ray.

 

"We're doing so great!" Sheepy called out, as Just Doesn't Get It ran across a car-free Columbus Street, bringing Touchmaster 69 and E=McFucked after him. The spirit moved within Sheepy and without of him, jumping over to THUNDERPISS.

 

"Got an invitation, for imbibation, let's stop and take a seat!" THUNDERPISS sang as Joe Pubic Hare ushered Famous Anus in to Li Po Lounge, where Wham Bam Thank You Tam, On All Fours, Pro Boner, Just Joe, and Shaft were waiting.

 

"There'll be great Mai Tais, it's no surprise, Li Po Lounge can't be beat!"  Meat Hall of Fame toasted Cockamole, who felt herself suddenly moved by the spirit.

 

"All we need is pack marks, sweet pack marks, and fresh flour everywhere!" They ran through the streets once more, Vaginia Dentata stopping to smell the succulents, with Peg Me and Lace Me preferring to smell out the beer.

 

"We got this!" cheered Cockamole as they dashed to the finish. 

 

"Whew," Just Chinmay patted his brow and clinked glasses with Mary Tyler Whore and Just Amanda. "Say, do you think in the afterlife, do all of the Lyft bikes get thoroughly cleaned in between uses? Like, say someone pees in a bush which happens to be where they dropped their bike-- it's probably mystically taken care of, right?"

 

"I think the spirits have left us," sighed Cockamole, a tad more somber than usual. "But that knowledge shall stay, and hereafter you shall be WPee-40." 

 

"That's okay," Dick Simmons said, to no one in particular. "I like to think there's a little Richard Simmons in all of us."