Run #1512 …And Then They Went Splat!

In an awesome return to days of yore Splat was in town and jonesing to lay a trail for the Gypsies! Splat called the malcontents to join him at Aquatic Park off of Van Ness and parking was soon taken up by the Gypsies caravan looking to score some pints of Lagunitas Island Beats from the Outbeer. Not that Pied Piper was thirsty, but he grabbed the tap and jammed it into the keg at the speed of light. As the piss poured PP’s sigh of relief could be heard in Oakland! While the pack was pounding piss our hare was pounding the street laying trail. Dick Ass Mother Fucker limped off his bicycle and poured down few pints to ease the pain in his ankle and initiate the pain he’d be feeling in his head on Friday. Our hare arrived and after pressing the flesh with the pack allowed Tongueless to raise his voice to the heavens and read a sermon from the Male Missal! Civilians stood by enthralled by the activities of Brent, Tony, and Rusty. As T lowered the book the applause from the civilians was thunderous. It might have been a bit much for Wash This Asshole to speed over to the group and offer to sell them T’s autograph, but you never can tell, and WTA would be loath to pass up the chance to make a few bucks. Our hare gave the pack a chalktalk basically telling them to look for marks, gosh, Twinkle Dick mumbled he’d never have thought of that! Off went the pack in search of Splat’s adventure for them. Trail crossed the street and at the first set of stairs turned up leaving them off at the Black Point Historic Gardens. Backwash lumped her lot in with the Lost Patrol in the hopes that T and Fits In would be able to have a mind meld with our hare, them all being ancient Gypsies. It probably didn’t make much sense for Closet Twitcher to have hauled his bike all the way up, but it only takes a half mind to hash and even less if you’re a Gypsy. Trail took the pack through the top of Fort Mason and out at Franklin and Bay St. By now Adopt A Pussy and Backside Banger could sense that bars were going to be available and their pace quickened to equal their thirst. Trail turned on Francisco St. and led to the new park at the top of the Larkin St. Stairs. At the play area at the top there was actually a coyote minding its own business while people scattered. There is a wooden circle that leads down to Hyde St. and Backwash chose that. The rest of the LP chose to go the wrong way so successfully missed the beer check at the Black Horse London Pub on Union. While those who followed true trail were pounding pints the LP was getting pissed off at T who had a mindless meld with Splat. The talk of hanging him hadn’t yet started but Backwash was mumbling. Jack The Ripper following his own dream of trail and cheap piss at the keg. The LP followed Columbus past the Cannery Shopping Mall and eventually across the cable car turnaround at Hyde Street. As they descended the bleachers to get back to the water’s edge T was trying to stay alive by keeping away from the rest of the LP. Oh the joy of being FRB. The Outbeer was brought to the other side of Van Ness and the keg was tapped again by PP with the Cloak of Invisibility concealing it the Vitamin J was tossed on top to share space with the Sacred Bucket filled with Fits In’s patented Bloody Marys. There were celery sticks and Dave’s Ghost Pepper Sauce was there for those foolish enough to use it. The first of the real pack, Just Fuck Off and Ted AKA The Other Bastard arrived and found the Bucket to their liking. One Night Only put down a few cups of punch and then punched her Mercedes out as she had promises to keep and miles to go before she could sleep, um, or so she said. Cheese Turd arrived and threw caution to the wind with that Dave’s, his esophagus may be functioning again by now. As he was doubled over gasping, he was still able to ask why Dr. Kimble needed to check his prostate. Dr. K just tugged that rubber glove on tighter and grinned. Tricrapalete looked on and was glad that he was pounding piss and not the Bucket. Just Jeorgina asked JTAKATOB what clan his tartan tights represented and before he could answer, JFO announced they were the colors of the Penis clan. Hand Pump as usual offered to take the garbage but this time he only needed to take it about 6 feet. T took up the Sword Of Power and convening the Circle used the Bucket for down-downs. Dr. K had a little trouble getting that celery stick down his throat, but he persevered. Splat had his share and more of the d-ds while the pack chanted, “Splat, Splat, Splat!”. Happily, he managed to remain upright. The same can’t be said of everyone, well it was the Gypsies. Cheers.