Run #1356 Much Ado About Kingliness!
Last Thursday the Gypsies celebrated their 26th
year and as usual it was truly an A(nal) G(rand) M(ockery)! King
Rongjon was the hare of course and the tone of the evening was
set when he texted Tongueless, “My advice is drink heavily,
just getting ready to do the trail. I’m very drunk.” The start
was at the south Windmill, the Murphy Windmill, in Golden Gate Park
on Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive. While the pack was gathering and
blithely unaware of the King’s condition focusing on pints
from the keg of Lagunitas Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’
the King arrived and wept bitter tears as he denounced the
Irishman who had forced him to down those 6 shots of Jamesons and
tried, unsuccessfully, to convince someone else to take up his flour.
Giving in to the will of the pack the King set off on a
journey of discovery. Dick Ass Mother Fucker with his
skateboard undertook observing the King and reporting on any
collapses that might occur. This was the point when Cuming Mutha
could have made his fortune and he will never forgive himself for not
taking the bet that Tongueless offered him, and with odds,
that the King would never make it 3 blocks. While the pack was
gambling on the King’ survival a band of teenage thespians
were doing a rehearsal of the Bard’s Much Ado About Nothing on the
lawn and their attention was captured by Bear Back Fanny Pack
from the C HarlotvilleH3 preaching from the Traveling Missal.
The true artistes not only gave her a standing ovation but came by
the Outbeer to get a copy of the Trash and have BBFP
autograph it. As the pack took off in search of him the King
staggered in and the pack went in search of the putative trail he’d
“laid”. Stunning, as it seemed, flour was clearly there taking
the pack onto the Great Highway. Oddly enough trial went past the
Beach Chalet without leading in, a sure sign that the King had
had a problem. Somewhere along this point the pack acquired Phone
Sex who was following her nose as much as marks. Backside
Banger pointed out that her “scent” of a trail was likely
from Just James’ diaper. Adopt A Pussy was quick to
insist that the flour did have a distinct whiff of Jamesons since it
had cum from the King’s own hand; leave it to a lawyer. The
entire pack was so awed at there actually being a trail to follow
that it actually stayed together. Trail took the pack into the park
and around the Queen Wilhelmina Windmill and Tulip Garden where
Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt paid homage to the
Tulips by making sure they were properly watered and fertilized. TD
and QC are such gardeners. At this point Bitches Bitch
brought the news that Cuming Mutha was setting trail in the
King’s name and had yellow chalk. CM had sent BB
back to get him some flour but instead BB brought the pack
forward. Trial took the pack up 47th Ave. before plunging
into the mud where CM substituted making arrows by dragging
his foot through the mud. 5150, scholar that his is, quipped
that it was like following a trial laid by Richard III. Lois Lame
could be seen fluttering like a butterfly above each carefully carved
mark. There was no worry of losing our visitor since her voice
registered so high on the decibel scale that trees shook. Fits In,
she of the eagle eye, spotted small yellow arrows chalked on the few
logs not submerged in the mud. When trail finally reached solid
ground at Chain of Lakes Dr. E. Pencil Dick dropped to his
knees and kissed the concrete. Trail plunged back into the woods and
finally exited onto MLK, Jr. Dr and brought the pack back to the
start and the first course of dinner, Vitamin J and Sacred Bucket
of River Madness. Missed Delivery clutched the Bucket
to his bosom and whispered words of love to the River Madness while
5150 filled a small growler from the Bucket. The more BBFP
visited the Bucket the deeper in conversation she got with
Cream Chugger while Just Lily looked on in
wonder. Bitch Pimp arrived having done a circuitous version of
the trail. The pack was fed with the usual three 3 foot long
sandwiches. 5 Angry Inches, Udder Moron, and
Tongueless’ Penis would have made a plague of locusts seem
like slow eaters. King Rongjon convened the Circle and called
for his Sword Of Power. Dr. Kimble and Manhole among
many others begged T not to produce it but produce it he did
with the warning that the miscreants maintain a sanely respectful
distance from the King and his cutting power. Mans Best
Hole just ate more treats. Tongueless’ Penis pointed out
that there was no reason to worry since the ground would absorb any
blood and the next rain would wash it away. Happily no one remembers
if blood was actually shed and Hand Pump tossed the King
in his van and drove him the two blocks to his house thereby assuring
his survival. His job done Cuming Mutha had left earlier. DAMF
tossed BBFP into a Lyft and took her back to her AirBnB but
that trip is a tale of its own. Cheers.