Run #1357 No Dogs, No Alcohol, Uh Huh!

Dr. Kimble laid the trail for the Gypsies last week from one of his favorite spots, the Corte Madera Town Park parking lot on Pixley and Tamalpais. The park is around the corner from the Twin Cities Police Dept. so the pack is always extra obedient to the signs that say, “No Dogs in the Park” and “No Alcohol”. Now that we have the disclaimer out of the way we can get on to what really happened. The parking lot was filled with the usual suspects and usual pooches. Blow Queen’s Tesla just pointed itself to Marin where the Teslas are practically de rigueur. One Night Only was hopeful that she would get a chance to do a plethora of steep suicidal climbs deep in shiggy. Scarlette O’Hairy just shook her head and suggested ONO just drink until that feeling passes. Bitches Bitch poured himself another pint of the Lagunitas Czech Pils, that wasn’t there, and pleaded with Dr. Kimble to warn him about any Poison Oak; Dr. Kimble just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Hand Pump crossed the bridge with Bush ‘N’ Iraq who comes from somewhere and was a virgin to the Gypsies, that didn’t last long! 4/20 will be upon us soon so it was fitting that another Gypsy virgin was Where’s Dildo of MarinH3. It being dinnertime the park was emptying of children and their nonexistent dogs so Bush ‘N’ Iraq volunteered to send them off with a religious experience. BNI preached about family love from the Sacred Missal 2.0 and parents yanked their kids into cars with ever-greater speed. Dr. K provided his usual chalktalk reminding the pack that along with the flour and chalk he also used toilet paper at the more death defying sections and the pack might find it useful for more than marking the trail. On that note he sent the pack off to find trail. Initially the pack was going to find trail that required them to be almost like Alice but instead of a rabbit hole there was a hole in a fence. The Lost Patrol involved Tongueless, Backside Banger and Adopt A Pussy with Fits In acting as den mother to the lost boys plus Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt. Not that most people were lost at the start but most people were lost at the start and those that weren’t lost decided to climb over the fence rather than go through the hole; it truly does only take half-a-mind to hash. The LP found trail and crossed the bridge it led to an exit from the park and across Tamalpais Dr. to Sausalito St. and the start of the climbing portion of the evening; the portion that consumed most of the rest of the evening. Trail passed close to Dr. K’s abode but this time he wasn’t crazy enough to bring the pack in. In case you were wondering Dr. K made extensive use of every set of stairs and alleyway that exits in the town of Corte Madera, more than you think. Trail wound it’s way to the bike path through the park and up under the bridge and eventually onto Baltimore where the pack found themselves in Baltimore Canyon and nowhere to go but up. The LP lucked out since T and FI used to live in Corte Madera and could save them from heart attack climbs. When he realized where trail had to be going T was worried about Tongueless’ Penis taking a spill but Tongueless’ Penis is so much better that Tongueless himself that T needn’t have worried. Bitch Pimp and Just Pat gave it their all or at least their most or maybe their somewhat. Bitches Bitch found that he could go hand over hand up the trail on the hillside coming down face first wasn’t nearly as much fun. Lois Lame stayed behind him to pick up lost skin incase it could be grafted back on. Cream Chugger and Just Lily were the first ones back and the survivors trickled in from a number of different directions including on trail. The keg came into the park to sit at a picnic table and the Sacred Thermi were filled with coffee to be mixed with the Irish Cream, Kahlua, or brandy, or as Blow Queen likes it all at once, that according to park regs weren’t there. 5150 found his way to the park and found his way to full growlers. Eventually T swung the Sword Of Power and those not quick enough to leave found themselves drinking down-downs. Where’s Dildo and Bush ‘N’ Iraq were given the options of joke, song, or intimate body party and WD chose to sing, Beyonce has nothing to fear, but BNI set hearts to racing by promising skin to win! Tongueless’ Penis stood even taller than usual but when BNI exposed her wrist TP looked more like T shrunken and wizened. As the alcohol diminished TP tore out of the parking lot like the proverbial bat out of hell and Blow Queen followed suit pushing that Tesla right through Elon Musk’s heart. The rest of the pack followed Scarlette O’Hairy’s advice and kept on drinking although One Night Only did go out to run a few more hills. Cheers.